Buying an engagement ring is no easy task, especially if you have no idea what style of ring your partner is hoping to see when you open the little velvet box.
But one fiancee-to-be on Mumsnet has said her partner actually showed her the ring he’s planning on buying before he proposed – which has given her plenty of opportunity to tell him she’s not keen.
The woman explained she makes and sells her own jewellery, so she knows full well the two materials he chose for the ring are not ideal options for an engagement ring because they’re both prone to breaking.
And while she insisted her dislike for the ring has nothing to do with money, she does want the jewellery to be made out of a material that lasts.
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She wrote: “My partner showed me the ring he’s going to get, and it’s nice, but it’s not my idea of an engagement ring – it’s silver and topaz.
“Now this is not about the money – I do not expect the ‘month’s salary’ thing because that’s diamond company propaganda.
“But I do love jewellery (I make and sell it) and engagement rings tend to be a bit more special and last a long time. Topaz is brittle, and silver dents easily.”
The mum went on to say she isn’t sure how to tell her partner she doesn’t like the ring – because she doesn’t want him to think he did a bad job.
She added: “I don’t even mind if we don’t get married for years, but the ring is important to me.
“I don’t know if he knows what engagement rings more usually are, and I don’t think he’s trying to be cheap, and it’s a sweet ring. I love that he’s picked it himself too.
“Do I tell myself to get a grip, or do I gently say to him that it’s lovely, but I wonder if we could choose something together?”
And commenters on Mumsnet were in favour of her talking to her partner, as they encouraged “good communication”.
Someone said: “Just be honest - though gentle - with him! If you are going to marry him, you must be able to have a frank conversation with him. He probably showed you the ring because he wants genuine feedback.”
While another added: “Tell him! Good communication is a key part of any serious relationship. This is a ring you will wear for the rest of your life, so you want it to be a piece of jewellery you like.”
And a third posted: “I'm a big believer in choosing a ring together. Choosing a ring for someone to wear every day is so weird, you need to choose if you have to wear it!”
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