A brave mum has opened up about crying tears of “shame and guilt” from postnatal depression after the birth of her daughter.
Rebecca Bell said she hid her struggles from pals and revealed it took five months for her to be offered a psychology appointment.
Rebecca, 35, worked as a broadcast journalist for seven years, including for the BBC and Sky.
She was also news editor for Kingdom FM in Fife and interviewed First Minister Nicola Sturgeon.
She now has her sights set on Holyrood and is the Lib Dem candidate for Edinburgh Northern and Leith.
In an emotional article for the Daily Record, Rebecca wrote about her mental health problems after her baby Daphne was born.
“Though I have been a campaigner on mental health issues for many years, when I suffered from postnatal depression (PND) I couldn’t bring myself to tell many of my friends,” she wrote.
“Even though I have experienced patches of anxiety and depression throughout my life, that did not soften the blow.
"I remember just streaming tears full of shame and guilt that I had a long-awaited wonderful little family and instead of pure joy, I felt a deep, dark sadness.”
At first, Rebecca said she “kidded herself” by believing her struggles were down to sleep deprivation but she wrote: “This just bottled up my feelings and made it all worse.
“My instinct was to put all my energy into caring for my baby but the unintended consequences of that was that there’s nothing left to care for yourself.”
Rebecca, who is her party’s mental health spokesperson, noted that one in 10 women experience PND and said there is a “stigma” around this form of depression.
She said of Daphne’s birth: “You are still instantly thrust into the hardest job you’ve ever done. Even with a fantastically supportive partner, it’s a big job.
“From day one, my wrists were weak and would suddenly give way when I was holding her and the fear of dropping her made me so tense and anxious.”
On the services available, she wrote: “At this point, I reached out for help but even knowing that parents of under-ones are prioritised on talking therapies lists, it took five months before I was offered my first psychology appointment.
“My health visitor recommended I contact the charity CrossReach.
"It seems to be a great charity but in huge demand. When I had been on the list for nearly a year, I asked to be taken off because it just felt like I was never going to get to the top.”
Rebecca said the pandemic has made these issues worse and claimed there is a “mental health emergency”.
