Last weekend, I drove to Paris with a boisterous group of teenage boys on a football tour. Most of them come from African-Caribbean backgrounds and, even though I’m in my 20s, refer to me as “Aunty”. It took getting used to, but since it’s a term of respect, I guess I’m into it.
As the first grandchild on both my mother’s English side and my father’s Algerian side, I’ve always enjoyed the role of big sister. It helps that I’m bossy, protective and self-assured. But when it comes to love, life and moments of self-doubt, I’ve also relied heavily on the lessons passed down to me by the strong women in my life.
So, over the next few weeks, I’ll be passing on some of their best advice. The first lesson comes from my nana on my English side. She’s fiercely independent and has written an actual book on assertiveness. She has been my day one ride-or-die supporter, always giving me her (sometimes brutally) honest opinion. My favourite nugget of wisdom? Date someone you can read the weekend paper with. At the time I was 18, dating a boy who wasn’t as curious about the world as I was. She was nudging me out of my comfort zone towards someone who could challenge me. For Nana, love is a heated discussion about politics over breakfast.
And she’s right. After all, your newspaper reveals your values, and if you don’t share those, then you’re fighting a losing battle.
The irony of me writing about this in a weekend paper isn’t lost on me, and I probably wouldn’t be doing that if I’d stayed with that boy. So thanks for the advice, Nana. Happy to pay it forward.
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