As a pianist, I played increasingly inappropriate music
In my teens, I worked as a cocktail pianist in a fancy restaurant. It was fun while it lasted, but when I moved away to university I had to quit. Being young and foolish, I didn’t just have a word with the manager – no, I decided to play increasingly inappropriate music. I started subtly, by adding the occasional extra beat to the usual repertoire of Misty, Blue Moon etcetera. I then started changing songs in major keys into minor keys, which raised a few eyebrows. Eventually I just went for it, and was politely asked to leave halfway through my spirited rendition of the guitar solo in Bohemian Rhapsody. Great fun at the time, although I look back now and realise how inconsiderate I was. – Timothy Allen
When I walked out, the entire film went white
One day, while working as a projectionist, I started chatting with the ushers before the show. I talked to them about an upcoming performance where I was planning to show a silent film to accompany live music. On hearing this, the manager came over to me and said: “Just fuck off back into your box. You’re just the projectionist and you do as I tell you.” So I decided to walk out just before a reel change. When the first reel ended, the film stopped playing and the entire screen went white. – Nick
I resigned twice in one day
Once, while working in a call centre, I was instructed to sit in a dark room facing a wall and told to start on the letter T in the phonebook. My job was to cold call people and make appointments for sales people. After around 10 calls I felt lower than at any point in my life – I couldn’t get used to hearing the word “no” so often and with such derisory remarks. I started the job on a Monday at 8am. At 10am I stood up and declared: “Sorry I cant do this”. I explained to the manager it wasn’t for me. After walking out, I was called at 11.30 the same day; the manager pleaded with me to go back – he apologised and said I shouldn’t have been thrown into it like that. So at about noon I returned to the job I had quit. At 12.30 I resigned for a second time that day. The window seat and lucrative Ws in the phone book couldn’t change the sense of despair. I’ve worked in call centres, but there was something odd about that experience. It felt claustrophobic, like I was in a submarine desperate to escape. Luckily we weren’t submerged and the hatch was open. – Aleister Willis
They said: ‘We’ll keep your job open for you’. I said: ‘Please, don’t’
I won a competition to represent my home city in one of the six legs of a round-the-world yacht race. When my employers said they’d keep my job open for me, I raised the funds to compete in two further legs. When they said they’d still keep my job open for me, I just said: “Please, don’t”. – Ed
I took one look at the office and left
After being bullied and harassed for three months by my new boss, I returned from a Christmas break, looked round the office, thought “I can’t do this any more”, scooped up my personal possessions, wiped my personal computer directory and went back home. There I stayed for the next six months while things were worked out. – Anonymous
I pretended I had an arranged marriage
I pretended that my parents were taking me to India for an arranged marriage and I had little choice in the matter. The truth was I wanted a holiday before starting a new job a few weeks later. – Anonymous
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