Dear Coleen
I’m a woman aged 31 and met my boyfriend through work a year ago. It’s definitely a case of opposites attracting because, although we work in the same area and share similar interests, our backgrounds couldn’t be more different. That’s the bit that worries me.
I come from a very normal family, grew up in a small semi in the suburbs, worked hard at school and got to university, and found a good career.
He, on the other hand, went to the best schools, his family is wealthy and his whole experience of life has been very different to mine.
It’s not an issue between us at all – in fact, we joke about it a lot – but if I’m honest, I feel intimidated by his upbringing and his family. I feel uncomfortable around them and just don’t feel good about myself.
It probably goes back to the first time we visited his parents and stayed the night.
I couldn’t get over the house, which looked like a mini stately home, in acres of land with stables and a lake. It was like something out of a movie. His parents aren’t bad people, but I don’t know what they’re talking about half the time.
I suspect he might ask me to marry him, which I want, but I’m also terrified about the families and friends coming together and how that would play out. I’d love your opinion.
Coleen says
I honestly think this is more about you and how you feel about yourself – not good enough. Which of course is codswallop and I’m sure your boyfriend would be the first to agree, and he’d be horrified to know you felt intimidated and uncomfortable.
This is your own insecurity coming out and I get it – I’ve felt this way myself.
I remember finding out Ruth Langsford was going to be doing Loose Women and assumed she’d hate me because she’s really posh and educated and I’m, well, common as muck! I also worried I wouldn’t take to her because she’d be snooty.
But you know what? We couldn’t be closer friends – we’re the same people, just from different backgrounds.
This is about you and your boyfriend – you love each other and that’s what matters. And his parents must be decent people to have brought up their son to be the guy you love.
I think laughing about your differences is fantastic – keep doing that. Couples that laugh together, stay together. Also, be proud of who you are.
You’re doing great and have worked hard, and I’m sure you’ve had the support of a wonderful family.
If a wedding happens, I’m sure it’ll be fun because everyone will be there to celebrate the two of you. But cross that bridge if you get to it.
