Dinner dates are now apparently the emotional equivalent of diving headfirst into the deep end without coming up for air. A Los Angeles dating coach on TikTok is stirring the pot after declaring that you should never take a girl out to dinner on a first date. Her reason? It’s like “scuba diving 100 feet too fast.”
The point she makes is that it’s too intense, too soon, and nobody enjoys it. But the internet isn’t exactly buying it. Commenters are roasting the take, with one viral reply summing up the collective mood: “Cool, I’m taking my next date to Home Depot Saturday morning.”
Is Dinner a Bad First Date?
It seems this question plagues more than just dating coaches in 2025. A post on Quora made 10 years ago asked the same query. The most upvoted response was a well-dissected answer, but the first sentences share the stance immediately: “Yes, it is a bad first date. In fact, I consider it second worst – better than a movie date, and slightly worse than meeting at a bar.”
However, aside from inquiries being posted on a platform such as Quora, countless articles state a stance, too. ToasterDing uploaded a blog in February 2025, writing, “Dinner For a First Date is not a Good Idea….” stating how it can be awkward with a useless expense. The Gentleman’s Journal posted “Why you should never take her to dinner on a first date.” Their reasoning is different, however. Instead of fearing that it is awkward and forced time together, this article focuses on how men need to play more hard-to-get, so a dinner date is not too “clingy” for a first date idea.
What Does the Dating Coach Say?
Tay, who goes by @tayydiazmercado on TikTok, is a well-known and well-seasoned dating coach in Los Angeles. Her recent opinion on dinner dates has pulled over 26,000 views. Tay starts the clip strongly, stating, “Taking a woman to dinner for the first date is crazy work in 2025.” She goes on to say she wishes it would work, but it simply can’t. Why? Because “not a lot of fathers dated their daughters.”
She explains, “What dinner in 2025 as a first date feels like to a majority of women–and I’ve talked to a lot of them–is like you and me going scuba diving and I take you 100 feet deep real quick.” She explains that it’s way too much, too soon. Her suggestion? Do activities that you would do on a normal day, and that are not in a forced environment. The key is to make sure “she can leave it anytime.” Tay ends the video by mentioning that dating is a learning process and learning how to acclimate to one another.
@tayydiazmercado Hope this helps
♬ original sound – TheFemaleHitch
What do the Viewers Think?
Aside from the occasional agreement, Tay has received a lot of controversy surrounding this topic. One viewer says, “So no coffee, no bars, no museum dates. wtf do yall want?” While another says, “Well if she cant handle dinner then I dont want her.”
One viewer complains, “You want me to take her to Narnia or something?!”
On the other hand, some comments agree with Tay’s advice. One viewer says, “Crazy work lol! Tell em girlllll. activities are where it’s at.”
Lastly, one viewer says, “Agreed. Dinner dates are after multiple meetups like, coffee, local public meetup spots that consist of conversation and getting to know each other.
The Mary Sue reached out to Tay via TikTok direct message.
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