Dear Coleen,
I was with my ex-girlfriend for 19 years. Her parents weren’t happy that I didn’t have a job, so I made her choose – her family or me – and now I’ve been on my own for 10 years.
I’m 52 and still a virgin (my ex didn’t believe in sex before marriage).
I also have bipolar and dystonia (which affects my voice). I have no friends as my dystonia made this difficult, so I completely relied on my ex.
I buy my mum and sisters flowers regularly, but they have busy lives, so I barely see them.
What would you tell this reader to do? Have your say in the comment section
Please advise me on how I can make friends and find a girlfriend.
I would love to have a relationship and marriage, but having no experience in bed adds to the pressure.
Coleen says
As far as finding a girlfriend goes, I’m a great believer in dating apps. The important thing when using them is to be honest because lots of people aren’t and then you meet them and they’re nothing like they said.
There are tons of apps out there, so find one that suits you. And don’t go in saying you’re looking for marriage – that sounds a bit desperate and might put people off.
You might meet a few people who aren’t right, but that’s dating. And, if you do meet someone and there’s a romantic chemistry, they’ll probably be around your age and the chances are they won’t be a virgin, so can guide you.
In terms of finding people generally, they’re not going to come knocking on your door, so you have to put yourself out there. Volunteer, find hobbies or local clubs. You might not find a girlfriend, but you’ll learn how to be sociable and make friends.
And keep on top of your conditions by checking in with your doctor or counsellor and taking any medication. But don’t let your health issues hold you back and stop you from trying.
