If you don't have to, there's absolutely no need to rush into anything. Relationships, investments, hot baths and particularly self-improvement. After a meticulous internal assessment of my skills and qualities, I have decided to take it easy and build on the one thing I'm actually good at, the one area where I excel, that requires little-to-no effort for me: disco dancing.
I am genuinely embarrassed that I'm quite a good dancer. Given the choice, I'd much prefer an aptitude for science or a flair for languages, but instead I was given natural rhythm and snake-like hips. With my set of skills, I often worry what I'd be able to offer a group of survivors post-apocalypse. A natural leader would step up and say: "We need shelter and to nurse the injured, what can everyone do?" I'd have to be honest for fear of worsening our situation and say: "I have no practical skills, but I could do a little dance." I'd be mocked and then sent to cuddle the elderly.
So, I have chosen to take Zumba classes. Don't judge me, it's the latest craze; everyone's talking about it. However, It doesn't sound like the latest fitness craze, more like the latest Pixar animation. Zumba, the story of a baby elephant that's also an alien, lost after getting separated from the rest of the alien elephants when its trunk got trapped in some railings …
Apparently Zumba is referred to as "exercise in disguise", which makes me think I might get handed a false moustache, glasses and a trenchcoat, and then told to do lunges down the high street. Described as "a Latin-inspired dance fitness programme", it's making me a little anxious. I'm normally quite drunk before I dance in public, but maybe that's the disguise part – everyone gets given eight margaritas and then they just turn up the music in the gym. You won't even know you've been working out until you are woken by a prod from the cleaner's broom because they are locking up.
Will it improve my life? It has the potential to. I occasionally go jogging so it could improve my cardiovascular endurance. It will also provide an insight into another culture and, from the pictures I've seen, give me more confidence in wearing luminescent lycra. If I get into this, when the apocalypse does come, the survivors are going to be so glad I'm there, raising everyone's spirits with a high-energy, Latin-inspired work out. With that thought, I'm feeling improved already.
Come back to this site soon to check out Alex's progress
