Dear Coleen, I’m a woman aged 32 and I’ve had the whirlwind relationship of whirlwind relationships.
I met my partner at a party just before Christmas, fell madly in love, and now I’ve discovered I’m pregnant.
I’d been single for quite a long time and was at the stage of thinking I’d never meet anyone and would end up single and childless for the rest of my life. Then this guy came along and I instantly fell for him.
He’s a couple of years younger and very funny and carefree, which I love. He moved in with me in February and we couldn’t be happier. The pregnancy was a shock, but we’re getting our heads around it.
My problem is, a few of my friends and my mum are putting doubts in my head. They’ve all said my partner is nice and they’re happy for me, but keep telling me to slow down and put the brakes on.
I’m getting endless questions, too, like: “Are you sure about this?”, “How well do you actually know him?”, “Do you want to marry him?” and “Is he ready for a baby?”
It’s driving me mad and spoiling things for me. Why can’t they just be happy for me?
Coleen says
Why don’t you tell them you don’t know the answer to these questions, but right now you’re in a good place and want to make a go of it. Tell them you’re happy and you need them to be happy for you, too.
Here’s the thing, even if you’ve been dating someone for a while and know each other really well, there’s no guarantee the relationship will work out in the long term. No one knows what life has in store; it’s up to you as a couple to nurture the relationship.
I was pregnant with my daughter Ciara within eight weeks of meeting my second husband, Ray. I’m sure at the time my friends and family were worried sick about the speed of everything but, to their credit, they didn’t get involved.
And, although we are no longer married, we had 17 years together, most of them great, and we are still good friends.
The best advice I can give you is that when your baby comes along, find time to be together as a couple, really getting to know each other. That’s probably where Ray and I went wrong; we were instant parents and forgot we were also a couple.
Ciara became our only focus, so try not to do that. Congratulations and good luck.
