Dear Coleen, I’ve been with my partner for a few years, we’re both in our early 30s, and I’ve recently found out that I’m pregnant with our first child.
About six months after starting our relationship, he told me he was bisexual and that he’d had relationships with both men and women when he was at uni, but that he hadn’t slept with a guy for years.
I’ve never really worried about his sexuality until now, so maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but I’m suddenly feeling quite insecure that he’s going to start fancying or even seeing men.
I think I need some reassurance from him, but I’m not really sure how to bring it up without sounding paranoid. We have a good relationship and he’s never cheated on me with a man or a woman. I’d love your opinion.
Coleen says
If it’s something you haven’t discussed in a long time, then why not just be honest that now you’re committing to this life as parents, with responsibilities, it’s made you think about your relationship. Be honest about your fears.
He’s with you because you’re the person he loves, so it doesn’t matter that he’s bisexual if he’s committed to you and he’s been faithful.
In any relationship, regardless of sexuality, we’re going to be attracted to other people – that’s human nature.
But if you’re in an exclusive, monogamous relationship, that’s as far as it goes.
I think it’s natural to think about your circumstances and to think about the future when you find yourself pregnant because you’re taking a leap into the unknown and it’s a big life change. The key is to keep communication lines open and honest as you start this journey together.
