Well first world problems & everything but srsly I said to Dave, I do wish they would ban Halloween? OK we do not get trick or treated here but where are WE supposed to go, I know Oik will just switch all the lights off as per & now Florence needs one that is three costumes already, plus why is it always me who has to do the pumpkin? Dave’s like, are you sure, I’m like, I cannot believe you are even asking me that question, YES, Halloween is cruel & degrading, he’s like, fine, as of next October anyone caught trick or treating will find themselves behind bars for a minimum of five years, we will call it Samantha’s Law, you’re welcome :)
I’m like *wow face*, can you really just make laws like that, he’s like, tbh I was not sure, Grievey was such a killjoy, but now there is Chris’s Law, Grayling wants Grievey prosecuted for legislative neglect, lol. I’m like, well if you are making some laws anyway, I know Alexa hates cronuts and Mummy is so bored of people who won’t RSVP, he’s like, OK, cronuts will be banned for poisoning our national life, that is Alexa’s Law, and anyone who fails to reply to invitations in a timely fashion will have their passport confiscated for an indefinite period, do you think Mummy’s Law or Annabel’s is better? I’m like, & don’t forget capes, we need to send out a clear message, Dave’s like, soz, I am afraid capes may have to wait until we’ve finished Textor’s Law, I’m like, what does that do? Dave’s like, it categorises all disrespect to and criticism of any Australian political strategist as extra-sickening high treason & is punishable by hanging, actually that one was Lynton’s but he is just too modest to own it #legend.
I’m like, so aren’t you going to have one named after you, he’s like, well mine is just kind of channelling the old IRA one, basically it stops anyone called Kenneth Clarke appearing in public without a bag over his head, but Jose Manuel Barroso is like, so try it, loser #vileabuse. I’m like fine, so we just prosecute Manuel under Chloe’s Law #trollsbeware, Dave’s like, God why did I not think of that :)))
