‘It took a while, but I’m friends with the mirror’
Author Justin Myers on how confidence comes from preparation and the perfect finishing touches
“It’s all in the details. I don’t have a little black dress or a failsafe power suit, so my confidence comes from the final flourishes before I leave the house. Once, a lapel pin, or pocket square; now, a flash of leopard print belt, a contrasting sock. Three skooshes of fragrance, teasing that final stray hair into place, straightening the collar, unbuttoning then rebuttoning, choosing my shoes, knotting my scarf, fastening my watch, coat sliding over my back. The ceremony of it, taking the time, that’s where my confidence comes from. My wardrobe is an archive of my feelings, lined with well worn hits and ill-judged misses. I don’t always get it right, of course, but on bad days, that last-minute zhuzh in the mirror makes anything work.
There’s confidence in preparation. Where I’m going, the weather, the crowd. Will I arrive shrink-wrapped in perspiration? Could an accidental spillage completely ruin my day? Will it rain? I’ve taken spare outfits to backyard barbecues before; a good excuse to add a bag to your look.
It’s important to know yourself. Other men, any age or shape, are my crash-test dummies; I note their successes and imagine whether I might make them work. It’s not just about how something looks, but how it feels. I’m 45, and don’t believe in ‘dressing for your age’, but my body’s changing. Knowing one fabric clings, while another skims, avoiding colours that clash with my skin or greying hair – these are my superpowers.
I’m not frightened of fashion but comfort plays a stronger hand these days. I prefer understated, with a twist. My top confidence uniform: well-cut plain T-shirt, patterned or wide-leg trousers; busy shirt, everything else on mute; wilful sameness head to toe, lifted only by my watch’s glint and that peekaboo belt.
You want people to notice, not stare. A second glance to justify an extra five minutes spent preening. My boyfriend once said he eagerly anticipated seeing what I’d wear on dates, that I made it look easy. Boom. It’s worth remembering, someone looking ‘effortless’ definitely took longer to get ready than anyone else in the room. I’m not rich or handsome; sometimes I’m awkward and shy. It took a while, but I’m friends with my mirror. My clothes, and those finishing touches, act as forcefield and projector, making me feel I belong anywhere. At last, I believe in magic.”
‘Celebrate your body with honesty’
Fashion editor and stylist Fatima Truscott says stop berating yourself about being slimmer and prettier
“As we age, we’re told that skin will lose elasticity and that weight gain and bloating are inevitable. However, let me tell you that the real beauty in getting older is that you’ll give zero *beep* about the above and loads of other things, too. Add to the mix a global pandemic to further readjust your headspace, and things like ‘what to wear’ and ‘looking good’ herald a whole new meaning. We’re emerging – and rightly so – more aligned with feeling good and celebrating you.
Ditch the ‘no pain, no gain’ mantra. Born from diet culture, these triggering archaic tropes gave us ‘control’ pants (gah, even the name) – and yes, while that momentary svelte silhouette could be yours, so will gas that can inflate a massive helium balloon! Same goes for push-up bras. (Jeez! Why did we ever put up with this?)
In 2021, when it comes to fashion advice, it’s not about hiding bumps and lumps, it’s about genuinely looking at yourself through kinder eyes and coming out the other side, celebrating your body with honesty – whatever size, shape, colour. If this sounds like cringy wardrobe wellness, then listen up, you’ve got this far in life and where did years of berating yourself about being slimmer and prettier get you? Nowhere!
Right, enough of the Oprah chat, here’s the practical stuff you really need to know.
Fabrics: certified organic cotton is breathable and soft. Also look for Tencel and hemp – which are better for the environment – as certain markets in the fashion industry start to react to the demand for a kinder, slower approach to fashion.
Detail: elastic is your friend – has lockdown taught you nothing? Plus, always wear your size. Oh, and any woman who has been pregnant (with penne or a baby) will tell you that a hair elastic looped through your jeans or trousers to elongate the fastening is a genius style hack.
Shapes: trapeze, tent, smock. Sounds like a circus, but these cuts allow you to move as freely as you would if you were living on a hippie commune. However, don’t forget the classics, either. A shift dress or shirt can be effortlessly cinched with a belt – making it totally adjustable throughout the day – while a timeless wrap dress will never not have your (probably more rounded) back.”
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