Dear Coleen,
I was with my husband for 15 years before we divorced and I’m now in my 40s. I’ve met someone else, who I’m crazy about, but I’m so self-conscious whenever we’re in bed together.
I cover up and make sure it’s dark, so he can’t get a good look at my stretch marks and cellulite!
I don’t really know how to overcome this or how to talk to my boyfriend about it – I don’t want him to think I’m odd or that I don’t like sex, because I do.
I used to be so confident in bed, but I suddenly feel like I’m 18 again, with tons of insecurities.
Coleen says,
Why not just put it out there and explain it feels new to you and you’re lacking confidence? I’m sure he can help you feel desired and good about yourself.
Also, remember, this guy really likes you and obviously finds you very attractive, so I don’t think the odd stretch mark or bit of cellulite is going to be a deal breaker.
If he’s in his 40s, too, I’m sure there are bits of his body that he’s not keen on or wishes were more toned – that’s life.
It could also help to think of things that might make you feel sexier and build your confidence – mood lighting, sexy nightwear, a relaxing bath before bed. If you feel you’re addressing it and doing things to take control, it won’t feel like such an issue.
