‘There is a big difference between the industrial spraying of herbicides and two small puffs from a handheld container in my back garden.’ Photograph: David Pearson/Alamy
Recently, I’ve enjoyed reading Alys Fowler’s solutions on how to beat weeds. Like all gardeners, I love to see my garden storm into life in spring: you can almost hear the garden growing. Alliums, lupins, and columbines are all smiling into flower.
However, watching dandelions and couch grass jump through my borders can be frustrating. Weeds are the ninjas of the gardening world; they seem to appear overnight and without warning. Suddenly, they pull back their masks and they’re flowering and spreading seed everywhere. If you’re not careful, you’ll soon be surrounded.
There are as many solutions to solving the problem of weeds as there are types of weed: mulch with cardboard or woodchip, plant-suppressing ground cover, use a sharp hoe, hand weed, or go for the more permanent solution of planting through membrane, just to name a few.
That said, there is a simple and effective way to kill an unwanted plant. This option is sure to decimate even the toughest weed. But be warned, to do this is to become a pariah, an outcast. Even mentioning this idea makes me feel like Harry Potter whispering Voldemort’s name in the dark. Dare I even say it? If you want to get rid of a really stubborn weed you could use that dark magic known as glyphosate.
Before I am banished to the netherworld for even suggesting the use of chemical control, let me say very clearly – I use chemicals as sparingly as possible. I try to garden organically and protect the environment, both for my own health and that of the wildlife. Like most people I see the news headlines which tell us that bees are disappearing, butterfly numbers are dropping, and the air we breathe is heavy with the fumes of automobiles and industry. I know that the planet is straining under the weight of almost eight billion people. I know that if we’re not careful then the fine balance of things might irreversible tip toward disaster. I know things are not good.
The question I ask myself is this: is a small spray of glyphosate on a patch of bindweed really that bad? There are weeds that can be easily pulled; I rather enjoy grabbing hold of a dandelion’s taproot and giving it a good yank. On the other hand, some weeds are inexorable. Horsetail, given the chance, can break through a concrete slab. Some weeds have the power to overrun even the most fastidious weeder. Especially for those with limited time or sore knees, a little bit of herbicide can be a real help.
The arguments over glyphosate have been grumbling on for a while now. Unsurprisingly, companies like Monsanto also tell us that the chemicals they produce are harmless. An EU watchdog called the European Chemical Agency recently ruled that glyphosate is safe, but can anything that causes a living thing to wither and die be classified as a healthy product?
There is a big difference between the industrial spraying of herbicides and two small puffs from a handheld container in my back garden. And while I admit to using the stuff, the small litre bottle I bought years ago is still sitting in my garage, label peeling and half full. What bothers me about the use of herbicides such as glyphosate is the blanket spraying of crops and the residues now found in the soil and in our food. According to the Soil Association, two thirds of bread in the UK are contaminated with glyphosate. Farmers seem to be spraying more and more each year. Given that glyphosate been linked to liver and kidney damage, it makes me worry about what I’m putting into my body.
So does all this just make me a hypocrite? Am I just as guilty of damaging the environment as agribusiness? Are the tiny amounts of weedkiller I use really harmful to my garden?
These are the questions that needle my brain on a warm evening as I sneak out into the garden. I try to leave it until dusk, so that no one can see my face. Sometimes I wear a hoodie. Glyphosate in hand, I tiptoe over to the bindweed hiding between the fence and garage wall. I hesitate and then slowly move forward. I take aim and pull the trigger twice. There is a fine mist followed by a slight odour; the deed is done. I hope no one saw me. I run for cover knowing soon, the guilt will set in.
