You're a Celebrity? Heidi Stephens' guide to this year's hopefuls
In Pictures: This year's contestants
So we have our starting 11: ex-Eastender Lucy Benjamin; celebrity chef Gino D'Acampo; former Strictly star Camilla Dallerup; stunna Sam Fox; Dynasty legend George Hamilton; ex Hollyoak actor Stuart Manning; interior designers Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan; Mis-Teeq singer Sabrina Washington; snooker whirlwind Jimmy White; and How Clean is Your House presenter Kim Woodburn.
So who will be the first to leave the jungle? Or eat something that any normal person might refuse on grounds of ick/dignity? Join Heidi Stephens here – live! – from 9pm on Sunday evening to kick off the new series of I'm a Celebrity …
9.03pm: Evening all - Heidi here. Ooh, we're off! Eleven celebs, jungle hell, and me trying to type very fast on a keyboard I've never used before. It's I'm a celeb 2009!!
9.05pm: So let's meet our celebs, shall we?
First up is former Sun stunna Sam Fox, who don't wanna be scared no more. She is followed by designers Colin & Justin, and they are very pleased to see her; cue much screaming. Telly cleaning lady Kim Woodburn isn't taking any crap off anyone, and she won't eat bugs. She is followed by random chef Gino D'Acampo, and ex-Eastender Lucy Benjamin, who has giant hair. Stuart Manning from Hollyoaks doesn't want to say that he is amazingly good looking, but clearly thinks he is. Hmm. Pop star Sabrina Washington is actually gorgeous, but doesn't feel the need to say so. Snooker ace Jimmy White once went camping, and it was rubbish. Dancer Camilla Dallerup has never been more scared in her life. Actor George Hamilton has no idea what he's letting himself in for.
They are met on their luxury yacht by millionaire Geordies Ant 'n' Dec, the Saviours of ITV. Ooh, there is a challenge already!
9.11pm: One boy and one girl have to swim to a nearby island and do a challenge. They decide on Gino and Sam, who is clearly happy to trash her nasty Primark dress by jumping in the sea. It looks to be about four lengths of my local swimming pool, but that just might be my telly.
9.13pm: The other nine celebs don their overalls and head off towards camp, emerging from the heat haze like something out of Armaggedon. Sabrina has never been camping, so has no idea what to expect. There is much fear of the unknown. Is it all THAT unknown, though? I mean, this is the ninth series, so surely everyone knows that it's lots of discomfort, rubbish food and eating bugs. What's to know?
They get in helicopters, and it's like a really camp version of Apocalypse Now.
By the way, if this all starts to get a bit shonky, it's because I'm using Anna Pickard's laptop and it's a Mac. I'm a PC girl, so I keep pushing the wrong buttons and suddenly everything disappears. Very unnerving, please bear with me.
9.21pm: In the first helicopter is Lucy, Colin and Sabrina. They appear to be having a great time in the chopper, whereas I would be vomiting lavishly. They have to jump out of plane from 12,000 ft, and don't look very happy about this. I have done this (albeit over Cirencester, which is not quite so glamorous), and I have to say I'm in no hurry to repeat the exercise.
9.25pm: There is much ominous music and fear. Colin's mouth has to be blurred out he is swearing so much, yet weirdly we can all hear him saying "fuck".
He jumps, and compares it to "the best sex ever". Seeing as skydiving takes about 3 minutes, I feel Colin has been missing out.
The first Bush Tucker Trial is called Dreaded Descent, and the voting lines are open NOW. George to do it, please.
9.29pm: Jimmy, Camilla, Stuart and Justin are going to camp on horses. Camilla can't ride a horse, clearly not aware that all you have to do is sit on it, bless her. She is showing signs of Natalie Appleton-esque levels of fear, but then tells the rest of the team that she has "soaked her knickers", so clearly it's not all bad.
They ford a river on swimming horses, but Stuart's horse isn't playing ball, mainly due to him trying to pull its head off, and everything starts to get a bit panicky. Camilla falls off, and actually I take it all back - this looks awful. Not for the contestants, I'm feeling sorry for the poor horses.
9.37pm: Apparently Katie Price is going back into the jungle later this week, no doubt trying to re-create the happy time when Jade Goody went back to Big Brother. We all secretly want to see her and Sam Fox have a giant punch-up.
Anyway, back to the plane. Sabrina and Lucy are still waiting to do their jump, and there's lots of gratuitous swearing. Both look significantly happier once they are back on land, and I feel their pain.
9.42pm: Back on the island, Sam is serenading Gino Obscuro with 'Touch Me'. Instead of throwing his head into the jaws of the nearest crocodile, he appears to enjoy it. Bizarre.
They have to do a task to win food and beds for the camp which involves blindly sticking their hands into holes guarded by lots of crabs and squid, putting big spiders in their mouths, sticking their face in disgusting creatures etc. etc. It is frankly impressive.
Still, I'd rather this than listening to Sam singing 'Touch Me'.
9.52pm: I'm having some problems with my feed - not sure if it's ITV or all the technical kit that Anna has to have to get UK TV in the US, but she's gone out, so I can't ask her. Ooh, it's back - Sam and Gino continue to win stars by getting up close and personal with really disgusting bugs, and win themselves all manner of brownie points with the public.
May I just ask a)how game is Sam Fox and b)how good is she looking? If it's plastic/botox then they've done a pretty decent job.
They win lots of food and beds for camp, so everyone will be loving them.
10.01pm: Back in the jungle, pensioners George and Kim are getting to camp on foot - clearly their agents said an emphatic NO to skydiving and horses. George seems to be an absolute charmer, despite Kim bossing him around as he tries to light a fire.
He is looking for something dry to put on the fire, and suggests his skin. As he appears to be carved out of wood, he'd probably burn nicely.
The horse riding team turn up, minus their drowned horses, and George still hasn't managed to light the fire. Stuart turns out to be Ray Mears, and not just a self-proclaimed pretty face. The skydivers also turn up, and Colin are Justin look very pleased to be reunited.
Kim is horrified that they have to use towels for several days and dry them out. This is disgusting, apparently. And yet somehow the rest of us get by.
10.11pm: Hmm, Iceland. I haven't had any lunch yet.
Dec's dodgy Italian impressions are getting a bit wearing already, or is it just me? Sam and Gino turn up, and everyone is very pleased that they managed to get nine stars out of eleven, so a couple of people have to sleep on the ground. Gino gives his bed up for a lady, what a gent. George and Kim are sleeping in the caravan, and George is hugely appreciative of the level of respect he is getting from the others for being a 'huge Hollywood star'. Seriously, he was in Dynasty. It doesn't get any bigger than that.
Kim has warned George not to get frisky with her. Hilarious.
10.18pm: After their first night in the jungle, everyone is in good spirits. George is singing, and Kim asks everyone to please go to the toilet, as she's about to clean it. I fear constantly bitching about cleaning and hygiene may be what defines Kim. It stinks, apparently, and there is retching.
Gino is doing what he can to transform rice and beans into something vaguely edible. There is a LOT of singing in the camp, sigh.
Ant 'n' Dec point out that everyone is getting on very well, and they hope no-one turns up to spoil that. What, like Jordan? Oh, must we feed her ego further? Must we? And if so, can we put Peter Andre in there too? And maybe Jodie Marsh? That would be BRILLIANT.
10.25pm: Ant 'n Dec are heading into camp, via a drawbridge that was installed after 'the great sausage revolt of 2003'. The really sad thing is that I remember this.
Colin or Justin (sorry, I have no idea which one is which) has a bug up his shirt, and makes a giant fuss. No-one is very impressed.
I reckon it has to be Camilla for the first trial, as she is clearly the most scared and the public are EVIL.
10.29pm: OK, it's not Camilla. It's KIM, which is the price you pay for having a big gob, love.
That will be tomorrow, and there will of course be a new arrival in the shape of Jordan/Katie Price. She is going in for closure, she says, and couldn't give a shit what people think, because she's got nothing to prove. She's expecting to fall out with people, because she is "trouble". I fear for Stuart Manning, personally, he's got excellent future Jordan husband potential.
And that it's for the opening night - I'm sure we'll be back later in the series when exciting things start to happen, but in the meantime do drop your thoughts on the celebs below, and who you reckon might be this year's king or queen of the jungle.
Thanks for joining in, and I'll see you soon! Hx
