I'm A Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here! 2010: Meet the contestants

British acting stalwart Nigel Havers, last seen as a high-class man escort on Coronation Street, has once more flogged his dignity for prime-time exposure. At least the worst he’ll have to endure on this show is kanga-balls for breakfast. Next to kissing Deirdre Barlow, it’s a picnic.
Photograph: ITV

I predict Nigel will stay close to Britt Ekland during his early days in camp. They’re of a similar vintage and will spend much of their time smiling politely at their fellow campers while wondering when the other famous people are due to arrive. Photograph: ITV

It’ll be a straight fight between Havers and Linford Christie for alpha male status. Contestants are rigorously searched before entering camp but Linford could use the myth surrounding his “lunchbox” to smuggle in a cruet set to liven up that bland food. Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV

Needless to say, Gillian McKeith will most often be found lurking near the latrine, boring on and on about rice and beans being perfectly adequate and remarking that in fact she finds the beans to be a rococo extravagance. She’ll go in the first week. Photograph: ITV

Shaun Ryder should provide most entertainment. Despite spending a great deal of his past pickled and higher than Concorde, he’s now got the weathered good humour of one who has seen too much but can’t really remember it. His equally non-plussed bandmate Bez strolled off with the Celebrity Big Brother title in 2005. Photograph: ITV

Sheryl Gascoigne is apparently willing to eat bugs in an attempt to change public opinion following her tell-all book about her marriage to Paul Gascoigne. I don’t have an opinion about her but I’m looking forward to forming one in the first five minutes she’s on screen and sticking with it. Photograph: Rex Features

Lembit Opik will go unnoticed unless he tells a particularly bad joke or strikes up a “close friendship” with one of the bikini-clad women … Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV

… If I were Stacey Solomon (slightly dim, young, sexy and good-natured reality TV contestant) I’d be careful. Photograph: Ken McKay/ITV

Kayla Collins is an American Playboy model – and has presumably been hired to stand still under a waterfall in tiny swimwear for three weeks. Her advice to girls on how to model is to “stay positive and follow your dream”. Or to translate, “stay still and stick out your boobs”. She actively encourages people to call her “doll face”. Photograph: ITV

As for Aggro Santos, I’m 35 so I don’t think I’m supposed to know who he is. He’ll probably do a Gino d'Campo – last year’s “Who?” contestant – and win the whole shooting match. Photograph: ITV