Dear Coleen, I’m a woman in my 40s, single and still a virgin. I’ve never even had a boyfriend.
I’m an only child and still living at home with my parents, which doesn’t help.
I’m also unemployed at the moment and looking for a job.
I spend my whole time worrying about being left on the shelf for ever, and would really appreciate your advice.
What is your view? Have your say in the comment section
Coleen says
You sound overwhelmed, as if you’re worrying about everything all at once, so you can’t see the wood for the trees.
The key is to break things down and take it a step at a time. You’re not going to transform your life overnight – no one can do that. It’s about starting with one thing and then moving on to the next.
Tackle the work situation first – put all your energy into that – because when you start earning some money, you can look into moving out of your parents’ home and getting a place of your own.
And you mustn’t feel guilty about doing that.
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Working will also help you to meet more people and build your self-esteem. And my advice is, don’t hold out for your dream job, take anything that sounds interesting and pays enough money to get by because it’ll get you into the job market and you can put it on your CV.
As for dating – no one has been doing much of that over the past year, but you could try online dating. I’ve been doing it and I’m 56, and I’ve been having a lot of fun. It’s really helped me break through the barrier of dating again after divorce. It’s helped to build my confidence and it might do the same for you.
