Andrea Newton seemed to have everything… a successful HR business that she had built from scratch, a bright, loving son at university, and a solid marriage.
But within a few short months, it all fell apart – and Andrea found herself battling daily with crippling depression and thoughts of suicide.
Like the one in four of us diagnosed with depression each year, she says she felt completely overwhelmed and wanted only for her pain to stop.
“In the two years running up to 2016 my marriage broke down, leaving me homeless and unable to work because of my mental health,” Andrea said.
“I ended up living on friends’ sofas, or with my mum and even in a caravan. I really only wanted this all to stop, to disappear.”
Her GP instantly put her on Prozac, Valium and antidepressants. “Those meds helped, but didn’t fix the problem,” she said.
“I was also referred for a six-week CBT course, which was great, but it was only six weeks.
“At the end I was on my own again, and knowing how limited that support was I was terrified how I’d cope alone.”
But it was through an online forum for dog rescuers – a cause Andrea, 52, helps with – that she found her salvation.
“Three women I’d never met in person became my ‘tribe’,” she said. “One was in Kent, one was in North Wales, and one was in France.
"They quickly picked up what I was going through and they’d regularly text or message to simply ask how I was, if I had enough money to eat, if I’d been out that day.
“The relentless, unquestioning love they showed me in my hour of need saved me.”
Crucially, she says, they helped her deal with the practical problems she faced.
“I just couldn’t think straight, so they’d help me with finding somewhere to stay, paying off debts – things I could have done easily before but which were now contributing to thoughts of wanting to take my own life.
“They kept me physically alive. I felt like I was climbing a slag heap in flip-flops – all I needed was someone beside me to lean on and I could make it, but without that it was one step forwards, five steps backwards.”
Then in September 2017 Andrea felt she could take no more, and set out into the woods with her dog to end it all.
But in that moment of desperation, she found her reason to carry on – and a mission to help others.
Andrea said: “I thought of my son having to carry on without me, how this would affect him. It smacked me in the face.
“I thought, ‘What are you doing? What has he done to deserve this?’”
She vowed that with her three friends’ support she would get better and, if she did, she would in turn become the one helping others who were going through similarly hard times.
So last April she started on a City and Guilds course to become an accredited Suicide Prevention Tutor – a course paid for by her friend in France.
And now Andrea – no longer taking antidepressants – has found a new role going into big corporations to deliver mental health training. The theme of this year’s Mental Health Day – which fell on Thursday – was suicide prevention, something very close to her heart.
She said: “I saw a Facebook memory flash up from two years ago on which I posted ‘Today is not a day worth living’.
“I feel so proud and so lucky I’ve come back from that cliff edge, to where I now feel I have something to contribute, something to live for. I was a high-flyer with a big income – I know nobody is immune to depression and suicidal thoughts. I’m a survivor, not a victim.
“I now have a new home, a new career I love, a new life. But I know so many people right now are going through what I did – and need help.”
