Dating means putting yourself out there and meeting people you don’t see eye to eye with. Sometimes, the two of you find a reasonable and civil way to end things, but other times...? Not so much. Jessica Marie asked the internet on Threads, “What’s the pettiest reason you dumped someone? No ‘we were incompatible’ excuses here—just top-tier pettiness in all its glory.” Everyone immediately started sharing their most memorable break-up stories, and I guess it says a lot about what it’s like to be single these days.
#1
We arranged an ice cream date for our first meeting. I used the word "serendipitous" and he said "How cute, a waitress with a vocabulary" and patted me on the head. I replied "How cute, a man eating ice cream by himself", stood up and left.
#2
He pushed my cat off the bed after she jumped up to cuddle. No hesitation kicked him out of my house and made his friend come pick his a** up.
Image credits: realtrashbaby
#3
He pouted at me for wearing my doc martens to a bonfire date. We were the same height and he was upset that my docs made me FRACTIONALLY taller than him. I wore 4 inch heels to meet him at the coffee shop to dump him the next day.
#4
He told me a girl has never ghosted him before and he always was the one who did the ghosting… next day I blocked him and never spoke to him again bc why not.
Image credits: native_beauty222
#5
Oh yeah, this guy who would’ve been a really good match came over to my house to pick me up to go on a date and my dog, a very sweet pointer, came over and sat really close to his leg and kind of pushed her nose onto his knee for a pet and he took his foot and shoved her away. I was like nope you can leave. We don’t get to go on a date with me if you treat my dog bad.
#6
Had been on maybe 5 dates with this guy.
Back then, I was working with horses, and he picked me up from work.
Was just finishing up with this horse, and it put it's head on my shoulder and rubbed it against my face. I laughed, reached around it's head for a pet and said "yeah, love you, too".
Cue the guy throwing a fit that I never told him that I loved him.
Jealous of a freaking horse.
Instantly lost all respect for him and called it a day.
#7
SHE told me my cat was ugly.
Yeah, maybe my cat was ugly at the time, but it wasn’t his fault he got mange. It was a rescue, and a precious little baby.
#8
High school, very short lived boyfriend. He's walking me to my bus. I saw a mantis just chilling on this brick wall. I was super excited about it, as it's my favorite creature. I was trying to gently get it. This guy takes the side of his fist and squished it, right in front of me.
I was so pissed off, I could have squished him just like that mantis, if I were big enough. Dumped him on the spot.
Image credits: xzuka88x
#9
First date with a guy. He was staying with his mate & his wife, who I knew well, so when we went back to his for coffee I didn’t think twice. Shortly after we got there I went to the bathroom. 3 minutes later I came back, friends had vanished and he was naked on the sofa. He poured grenadine all over his body and said ‘come and get it baby’. I laughed so hard I think I peed a little. I left without actually speaking
Image credits: theyaremysquirrels
#10
Bad grammar also gets me, if English is your first language and you don’t know the difference between there, their and they’re or your and you’re, instant ICK.
#11
We were on our second date and he started acting really weird. I asked him if he was OK and he started rubbing his stomach and then completely changed tone into a baby voice and was moaning at me that his “tummy hurt” - I pointed towards the bathroom and I said maybe you just need to use the restroom? He proceeded to writhe in pain and decline saying “issokay it’s just a widdo tummy ache” I was so horrified I closed out our tab and walked home lol bye baby bop 🤙🏻
#12
This is more than 20yrs ago… We were out for dinner with a group of friends…He peeled my prawns for me…. And then asked me to lick his fingers (with the prawn juice) in front of the whole table…. Friends still talk about it till this day! 🤢
#13
He asked me to cook dinner on our second date, then swapped out all of the ingredients I picked for “healthier options”… and then he said the food was bland… like BROTHER THAT'S YOUR FAULT! Never spoke to him again.
#14
Couple dates in with a guy and we decided to split a small pizza. He ordered whatever he wanted on his half (some crazy extra hot peppers and pepperoni concoction that I had no interest in) and I ordered what I wanted on my half. I’m one slice in and hungryyy and this guy reached over and grabbed a slice off my half and immediately chowed down. I said what are you doing? He said he wanted to try it and didn’t think I’d eat all my slices. Boy, bye.
#15
He got mad at me because he brought me around his friends and I was friendly and talked with them after in the car ride home he said “idk why you even talked to them your a woman no one cares about your opinion” I told him to pull over and I walked home, and never saw him again also he was 🤥 so that was another reason.
#16
He thought raccoons laid eggs. Nope. Too stupid.
#17
35 years ago, Went on a date with a model who wore open toes high heels so she could be a little taller. Np, I’m 6’3.. BUT she had knarly, ugly feet with bent toes and long nails and painted them bright yellow. I’m not a feet guy, but I couldn’t date someone that looked like she could grab salmon out of the river if she hung her feet off the doc.
#18
In middle school he broke up with me because his friends told him to. he asked me out again a week later and i said yes so i could dump him by the end of the day 💃🏻
#19
I woke up to text with a video of him, drawing on a whiteboard, telling me how I should prioritize him versus the other obligations in my life, including work, school, and family.  when I preface the week saying that it was finals week and I had to focus on studying so we had to cancel our date night and couldn’t go to the gym w him every night. We had been together four months…
#20
Went to my ex’s church with him…and then he had the Holy Ghost and started foaming out the mouth….I dumped him the next day! Foaming out the mouth was so unnecessary and dramatic!🙄🥴
Image credits: wisdom_in_a_woman
#21
I was starting to date a very talented architect. We were out for a walk on a partly cloudy but hot summer day. As a cloud moved in front of the sun, I mentioned something about how much more pleasant it was walking in the shadow of the cloud. She insisted that cloud’s could not have shadows because they aren’t solid objects.
Later, I heard from one of colleagues that she was a flat earther.
#22
We were trying to have a make out session and he grabbed at my b**bs like they were… I don’t even know. Just using bear claws to touch them. He’s in his late 30s, early 40s. Would’ve expected that when I was 14. Instant ick.
#23
I ghosted a fwb because he said “I love that I don’t have to care about your feelings or your life”.
It wasn’t untrue, but he didn’t have to f**kin say it out loud lol.
For weeks he begged me to respond to him because he was “worried”.
#24
My name is Jenny, and he always pronounced it like Forest Gump. 🙄
#25
In my head this isn’t petty and there were other things that added onto this, I had an ex who kept sticking his tongue in my mouth when we kissed. Not in a hot way, like he’d do it to be funny and quickly poke the tip of his tongue in my mouth. I told him that I did NOT like it and asked him not to do it again. He agreed and NEXT DAY he did it again. I asked him why and he said “I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal”. F**k that dude, if I told you no then don’t do it. Weird asf.
#26
He asked a homeless person for directions when I already knew where we were going and had stated so and we were heading to the concert. Never saw him again after that night.
#27
He held a fork like a shovel. I was picturing eating at a fancy restaurant with that and shuddered.
*photo is a reenactment*
😂
Image credits: biblio.katie
#28
1) That clown ate my chicken sandwich while I was asleep, persuaded me I left it somewhere and helped me look for it. But I knew EXACTLY where I’d left it.
2) “Shhhhhhh”ed me in my own home bcz I asked a question while we were watching tv.
(Both were with the same person and within 24 hours of the second example said person was told to leave me house and that was the breakup)
#29
He started doing push ups by the bed the next morning. Like hella early the next morning.
And he made sure I knew he was doing pushups by my bed hella early in the morning.
Image credits: manang.lauren._
#30
He was a French man. From Paris. I am VERY into cheese- like he even picked me up for a date from a famous cheese shop in NYC where I volunteered with the cheese classes.
He had to go to Paris for a week and I asked him to bring me some cheese if he wouldn’t mind. He brought back some Baby Bell and Laughing Cow.
Image credits: advice.by.alicia
#31
He was very skinny and tried lifting me up one day to prove that he's been building muscles. We both fell down.
Image credits: fwnel_
#32
1. Told my friend she was too tall and that’s why he wouldn’t date her. Asked me out, I went on one date and then told him I couldn’t continue because he was 5’ 11” and I couldn’t date men under 6’
2. Would not shut up about the supremacy of vim and Python
3. Emailed me a PowerPoint of his sexual preferences before our first date so I could be prepared. Got mad when I asked if I could set the mood for our evening and played “Be Prepared” from the lion king on loop while singing along.
#33
This isn’t petty but rather somewhat gross. This otherwise normal hot guy ended up having some sort of love affair with an otter at his zoo. He confessed the whole thing and naturally I was concerned for the otter 🦦 so I called the zoo and they already knew everything and he was blacklisted FOR LIFE. So gross and despicable. So he arrived to pick me up (I was young) and I screamed out the window “go away I’ll never be the animal you want”. Damn my childhood was wild.
#34
I forgot his last name and then too much time passed and it was too awkward to ask.
Image credits: sanderlinr
#35
I still regret it to this day, but in my early 20s I ghosted someone after a couple dates b/c I didn’t have a car of my own (I was driving around my moms car), and I was too embarrassed to admit it. That, & I had moved back in with my parents.
Early 20s me was a dumb**s & undiagnosed w/ chronic anxiety lol.
#36
I don’t know if it was petty, but the snoring became intolerable. 😴
#37
He said “irregardless”.
#38
Getting ready for a date. We agreed to meet halfway from both our houses.
Me: can we meet at (other restaurant)? It has something I like.
Him: Sure. I noticed its much closer to you. ( It was at the other end of street of original place) eyeroll.
Stopped getting ready and had a bubble bath.
#39
Not me but a friend once finished with her boyfriend suddenly; I asked her why and she told me. “He said he didn’t like spiders.” 😂
#40
He said my poetry was too sad and I needed to write more happier things. I knew then he didn’t understand me at all and never would.
#41
He put soap in my cast iron pan.
#42
He kept wanting to text during my nap time.
