An explosive tell-all interview in Vanity Fair with Susie Wiles, the White House chief of staff, reveals her experience of what US president Donald Trump and his inner circle are really like behind closed doors in Washington DC.
In the piece published on Tuesday, Wiles declared that JD Vance had been a “conspiracy theorist for a decade”, and that Elon Musk is an “odd, odd duck” and an “avowed ketamine [user]” who “sleeps in a sleeping bag in the EOB [Executive Office Building]”. But the big hitter? Trump, who is famously teetotal, has an “alcoholic’s personality” because he believes “there’s nothing he can’t do”.
Wiles has since distanced herself from the interview in a post on X/Twitter, calling it “a disingenuously framed hit piece” – while the Vanity Fair writer Chris Whipple, who met with Wiles 11 times over 11 months, has responded that “everything is on tape”.
One thing is clear, however: Wiles, 68, who played a key part in Trump’s successful 2024 presidential campaign before becoming the first female White House chief of staff, is in a position to label Trump as having an “alcoholic’s personality” – as am I.
As she explains in the interview, her own father, the legendary NFL broadcaster Pat Summerall, was an alcoholic who attended the Betty Ford Clinic in 1992 – and it makes her “a little bit of an expert in big personalities”. As Wiles put it: Trump “operates [with] a view that there’s nothing he can’t do. Nothing, zero, nothing.”
I am a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for over 20 years, and I, like Wiles, recognise the red flag “alcoholic’s personality” traits rather too vividly in Trump. For me, it’s a case of “if you spot it, you got it”.
The single-minded determination Wiles is describing – that obsessive “your way or the highway” attitude – is textbook “dry drunk” behaviour.
I should know. When I hit rock bottom and arrived for a stint at the Priory in my early twenties – one of many stays in rehab facilities up and down the country – I was handed a number of books about the alcoholic personality, so that I might educate myself on my affliction.
Until then, I’d always thought it was just alcohol that was my problem, and that if I could just quit drinking, I’d be fine. I was misguided. As I realised when I gave up alcohol, it was only the tip of the iceberg. My alcoholic personality was always there on my shoulder, like a monkey, and could destroy me and everything around me like a train without brakes, with or without substances being involved.
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Trump’s behaviour suggests that he is fearful of spiralling into addiction himself. He doesn’t drink at all. He was put off after he witnessed its destructive effect on his much-loved older brother Fred, an alcoholic, who died in 1981 at the age of 42 from a heart attack brought on by excessive drinking.
Trump told Fox News after his election in 2016: “If you don’t start, you’re never going to have a problem. If you do start, you might have a problem. And it’s a tough problem to stop.”
But the truth, as I know from experience, is that just because somebody doesn’t drink, it doesn’t mean they aren’t riddled with the “isms” that can come out in relationships, shopping, sex, food, work, love and gambling – and in many other aspects of their life.
In rehab, we learnt about the “King Baby” (aka the alcoholic’s personality) – a term coined by Sigmund Freud. The characteristics of a “King Baby” include difficulty accepting criticism or feedback; blaming others for problems or mistakes; expecting special treatment, or believing normal rules do not apply to them; avoiding personal responsibility; a constant need for approval and validation from others; and all-or-nothing thinking, seeing situations in extremes.
“An alcoholic personality probably means somebody who is not drinking alcohol, but has an addictive personality that will manifest in all domains – in relationships, whether that is with people, food, sex, money, or shopping – and is driven by a need for more,” says Dr Cosmo Duff Gordon, an addiction specialist and founder of Chelsea Recovery Associates.
“Nothing is ever really going to be enough,” he adds. “In the same way, there is never enough alcohol for an alcoholic. For the alcoholic personality that is not drinking, that sense of not enough will express itself in all other areas of life.” Importantly, says Gordon, it will be accompanied by a “disregard for other people” – because, he says, “the alcoholic’s personality at root thinks he or she is the centre of the universe”.
“They are self-centred, obsessive, compulsive, impulsive – and typically in denial,” he adds.
The characteristics of a ‘King Baby’ include difficulty accepting criticism or feedback, blaming others for problems or mistakes, expecting special treatment, and believing normal rules do not apply to them
Likewise, the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book describes the alcoholic’s personality as “selfishness – self-centredness!” as it explains: “That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows.”
When I ended up in rehab, it was painful working out that the world didn’t revolve around me, as I was confronted in group therapy and forced to see my blind spots. I was clueless – and had never considered how anyone else might feel. I had to change my behaviour and thinking, or – most likely – die.
Then, once sober, I was driven by obsession and compulsion. Even in romantic relationships, I was a love addict who was seeking a relationship to fill a void. I was often the last person to realise anything was wrong with my behaviour or thinking, because I was often in denial.
Now, after more than 20 years sober, I know that if I don’t continue to work on myself – and practise self-awareness – I will end up in a state where I’m unable to compromise, adopting an authoritarian or inflexible stance. This is known in recovery circles as “self will run riot”, and it usually ends in tears.
It has taken me years of hard work to slow down enough not to react like a firecracker – and to be able to examine my true motives. I have had to turn my life around by being of service to others rather than looking out for myself 24/7, and to learn how to sit with my feelings rather than constantly acting out.
Mainly, I have had to learn to love myself, to re-parent myself, and to apologise when my “alcoholic personality” cuts people off mid-sentence and fails to see any other point of view than my own.
Many people believe a leopard never changes its spots, but this is dangerous thinking.
Change is the only way to survive alcoholism – or the alcoholic’s personality – but sadly, unless you hit a major rock bottom, change isn’t a priority. Being a “King Baby” without drinking is like being high on power, and it has its plus points. Nothing will get in your way, and failure is not an option. There is simply no time to do any deep soul-searching when you’re stuck in that gear; you’re unstoppable – and are always the last person to realise your behaviour is totally insane.
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