A woman says she was minding her own business at Lowe’s when a strange man approached and said something inappropriate. The exchange began with him thinking he was paying her a compliment and ended with him calling her a nasty name.
Melissa (@mcstops) posted a TikTok about their brief but tense conversation. It’s got people weighing in on when, if ever, it’s appropriate to compliment a stranger, and what is acceptable to say.
As of this writing, her TikTok has nearly 800,000 views and 2,500 comments.
A backhanded compliment at Lowe’s
Melissa says she was shopping at Lowe’s when a man walked up to her.
“He said, ‘You know, I just wanna tell you that you see so many young girls walking around with so much makeup on and I just really appreciate how natural you look,'” Melissa says.
She didn’t hesitate to respond with how she really felt.
“I was like, ‘Oh, I appreciate the sentiment. But do you normally come up to women you don’t know and tell them whether or not you approve of their face and what’s on it?'” she continues.
Melissa says he replied, “When you get to my age, you’ll learn to appreciate the compliments cause they are few and far between.”
So she asked how old he is. He said he was 39, Melissa says.
“I said, ‘Oh, I’m 42. So I guess by the time you get to my age you’ll recognize which compliments women like and which ones they don’t,'” she responded.
Their exchange ended with the man calling her a curse word, she says.
Men behaving badly
A rightly-timed and executed compliment can make someone’s day. While a few stuck up for him, by and large, people did not see the man’s comment to Melissa as a nice thing to say.
A common thread was to point out that he was essentially putting down other women. “He was trying to insult other women as his ‘compliment’ to her,” wrote one woman with this view. “He doesn’t like women full stop.”
Several noted that many women apply multiple products to achieve a look that suggests they aren’t wearing any makeup to the untrained eye.
“Them ‘you’re so natural.’ Me—thanks it’s like 26 different products,” wrote one. Melissa responded, “lol yes.”
While anyone can, and certainly people of all genders do, say something rude or way-too-personal to a stranger in the guise of saying something nice, most generally agree that men are far more likely to do so.
Many women shared similarly uncomfortable experiences of their own.
“At work, I had a man tell me, ‘I think I prefer you with makeup on,'” wrote one. “I said, ‘Just so we’re clear, the coffee I serve you tastes the same regardless of what makeup I do or don’t have on my face.’”
Melissa didn’t immediately respond to an email sent Thursday morning.
@mcstops And that’s on “nice guys” #niceguy #niceguysfinishlast #smilemore #truecolors #beingawoman ♬ original sound – Melissa
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