Sarah Cawood was a stalwart of the 90s TV presenting scene. Part of the so-called 'ladette' culture of the 90s, she ran with the likes of Sara Cox and Zoe Ball, working with Sara on Channel 4's The Girlie Show.
She went on to host the iconic Top of The Pops, before fronting the revamped king of Saturday morning TV shows of the era, Live and Kicking. Slowly, work began drying up, and Sarah took some time out to spend with her family - she has a son, born in 2012, and a daughter, born in 2013.
During a recent candid social media post shared to her account, Sarah revealed the difficulties she's experienced watching her peers "thrive" - something exacerbated with easy access to their lives on social media.
The former presenter also gave a gut-wrenching account of being "left behind", and feelings of being "just so redundant" now she no longer works in television and finds it difficult to find the time to tackle new challenges.
Visibly upset, Sarah wrote on Instagram that in "doom-scrolling" the social media site, she'd witnessed first-hand her former peers "just slaying it," leaving her feeling "really left out."
Social media and the insular bubble it creates, can present a world where everyone is doing better or looks better, and it's easy to believe you are being left behind - a simple trap to fall into.
At the age of 53, Sarah admits to feeling "jealous," revealing, "all my former TV buddies, plus new friends I’ve met here, they all seem to be at events with each other, working together and THRIVING."
She continued, sadly, "and here’s the thing: I couldn’t be more pleased or proud of those women but I miss them… and I miss being one of them."
While appearing on This Morning in the aftermath of her Instagram post, Sarah did suggest she was grateful for the time she got to spend with children while they were young, asserting she was trying to find positives in her challenging situation.
On the other hand, women who have given up careers - or in Sarah's case, been pushed out of them - can find themselves missing what they had and feeling envious towards their former colleagues.
"I just feel so redundant," Sarah shares, telling her followers that she'd love to build her own brand or write a book, but simply doesn't have enough time with motherhood and trying to make an income just to get by.
"I feel like I’m peeking over the parapet, watching everyone else thriving while I’m over here, just surviving," she added.
To understand more about Sarah's feelings, and to look for ways any women who feel similarly to her might want to alter their mindset, we spoke to BACP registered psychotherapists, Susie Masterson and Debbie Keenan.
Looking at women and how social media can impact their feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome, Susie says, "We compare ourselves to others out of a need for safety."
"To belong is to connect with others, and this connection is key to our survival. These are our emotional blueprints that we inherit from our ancestors. However, in today’s world where we can promote ourselves as perhaps something that we aren’t, we present the aesthetic of our best selves - airbrushing the ‘less than’ elements."
Susie suggests Sarah, and other women like her, create a false sense of idealism when looking at the appearance or achievements of others, leading to unfavourable comparison.
Debbie adds, "Social media often fuels loneliness and imposter syndrome as it encourages an external locus of evaluation. This is where individuals rely on external sources, such as people's opinions, cultural expectations etc to determine their self-worth and to validate them."
"Comparison is then made against 'the perfect life, body etc' that is projected on social media. This distorted comparison can make a person feel not good enough or less than."
If you're at a stage in life where you find your feelings mirroring Sarah's, you're not alone. Susie and Debbie have also offered their perspective on how to begin shifting your mindset if these challenging feelings about being left behind resonate.
Debbie suggests, "The key to shifting to an internal locus of evaluation is being compassionate with yourself, reminding yourself that everyone has their own struggles."
"That vicious cycle of comparison needs to be broken. You need to recognise your own self-worth and learn to love yourself over someone's online 'performance.'"
Susie adds, "There are always things that will challenge us in life. Self development and progression is all about taking risks and learning along the way."
"If we don’t feel like an imposter some of the time, we are likely stagnating. So embrace it. Reframe it as the opportunity it is. Imagine how you will feel when you expose yourself to something that feels risky or uncomfortable (and survive it)!"
"Know that you will improve your resilience and strengthen your self concept by investing in yourself. The positive ripple effect of focusing on yourself will minimise the impact of others every time."
