When Conrad Seaman woke up in hospital he was in total shock that he was still alive.
A couple of weeks earlier, he had jumped from the seventh floor of a 10-storey building determined to end his life after years of suffering with depression and anxiety.
A decade on, he's endured years of pain as he's recovered from his injuries and he recently had to have his leg amputated, but now he's determined to help others who are going through difficulties.
"I woke up in hospital and I didn't know where I was, I was a bit confused and thought 'why am I still here?' The doctors said that I might have to have my leg amputated, I heard that and passed out," he said, recalling the day he came around in intensive care following his suicide bid.
"I was just in shock that I woke up, it was a very surreal experience. I remember seeing little women across the ceiling because of the amount of morphine I was on. I remember thinking 'what's going on'."
Conrad, who lives in Llanybydder in Carmarthenshire, has spent the last 10 years in and out of hospital after suffering with various infections with his left leg due to the fall, which happened in Manchester.
After years of excruciating pain, he decided to have his leg amputated.
Five months since the operation, Conrad, now 48, looks back on his mental health battle and reveals how he is now hoping to help others.
"It all started from school, I had been bullied and it built up from there - I would be fine for a couple of months then it would start building up again," he said of his depression and anxiety.
"I suffered a lot for a few years and then 10 years ago I thought 'enough was enough' so I decided to end it by jumping off a multi-storey car park."
Conrad admits that loneliness played a part with how he was feeling. Despite having some good friends around him, he said that the stigma around mental health meant that he didn't want to talk about it.
After waking up in intensive care, he soon found out the extent of the damage caused.
"I broke all different parts of my body, from my wrists to my back and my left leg. The only part that wasn't broken was my right leg and my head. I was in hospital for six months."
Conrad, who has self-harmed, has had sepsis in his leg and infections and has constantly been on medication and even attempted overdoses because of the pain.
"I was on painkillers four-five times a day. It was like I was here but I wasn't. I can't describe how I got through it."
The surgeon then gave Conrad three options for what he could do with his leg, including amputation.
He says the amputation was a "no brainer" and since the operation, he says he can now see a way forward in life.
"I am not in pain and I am doing more now even though I have lost a leg. I remember going under the aesthetic and I was counting backwards from 10 then I was out cold and when I woke up it was done. I was asking for my dogs.
"I was in the hospital bed and they had told me that my leg had gone and I looked down and thought 'oh it's actually gone' .
"I thought about it for a couple of hours and thought 'I can now do something without being in pain'."
One of the activities he's thrown himself into is swimming which helps him both physically and emotionally - and he uses an artificial leg to help him.
Conrad is now trying to raise money for the Artificial Limb and Appliance Centre (ALAC).
After talking to many other amputees and hearing their moving stories, he claims that there is a shortage of sports equipment that is available and affordable for them to do sport.
"I started attending (ALAC) in Morriston Hospital, I was sat in the waiting room and I was speaking to people in the waiting area who had lost a limb because they had cancer in the legs, from diabetes, motorbike and car accidents.
"I can see people are down and not motivated and it's affecting their mental health.
"I do get down days, It's going to be a long process but this gives me something to work towards and I am hoping to help other people. I want to give something back to ALAC because they have done so much for me," he added.
If anyone is feeling down Conrad's advice is to talk about it, whether with family or friends or organisations like The Samaritans or MIND.
"Just think about the future and what you can do, I wrote down a load of pros not cons, act upon your positives.
"Life does throw curve balls but you've got to catch it, deal with it and move on otherwise it will eat you."
His aim is to inspire and motivate people.
"I jumped (from the building) for a purpose and I was meant to survive for some reason and I think this is my reason why I did survive to help others.
"The pressures of life just got to me. In a sense I was really lucky but I didn't think that at the time.
"The doctors said if I wasn't as fit as what I was then I wouldn't be here now. I'm at a place now where I want to help people, anything is possible."
Conrad will be doing a two-mile swim at Carmarthen Leisure Centre on March 16, to raise money for ALAC. He has set up a JustGiving page, you can donate here.
For confidential support, The Samaritans can be contacted for free around the clock 365 days a year on 116 123.
