There’s no excuse for bullying others. Though the reality is that real life isn’t a fairy tale where good always triumphs over evil. Your bullies don’t always get what they deserve. Some might see the consequences of their actions or find redemption and grow into decent adults, sure. But others might go on to have a splendid life without changing for the better.
In a brutally open and honest thread on AskReddit, former victims revealed what happened to their school bullies after they all graduated. We’ve collected their most powerful stories. Scroll down to read them.
Warning: if you’ve ever been a victim of bullying, some of these stories may be triggering.
#1
He became a multi-millionaire, went back to our hometown, bought up every rental property he could find, and self-imposed rent caps to ensure that lower income families would have access to affordable housing. Turns out he wasn't really a bad guy. He was just a guy who came from a bad place, and none of us understood that at the time.
Image credits: zrdd_man
#2
I became a corrections nurse at our county jail shortly after nursing school. Sure enough one day the sheriffs escorted him into my office for screening. This guy was relentless in high school. He sat down and recognized me immediately and the convo went like this:
Him: I bet you’re loving this.
Me: I’m not, but I bet you would in my shoes. And that’s why you’re in that seat, and I’m in this one.
Image credits: DeadPoolRN
#3
The guy really didn’t mess with me because I avoided him like the plague. He had a kid at 16 and then became a grandfather at 37. Awhile ago he posted on FB complaining about bullies messing with his grandkid and claimed to always fight bullies when he was a kid. Another kid from my class had the balls to call him out on his s**t and several others piled on too. It was kind of awesome to watch that play out.
Image credits: usmcjohn
Bullying has deeply negative effects on everyone involved. Not just the victims, but the bullies and bystanders, too. Their physical and mental health suffers, alongside their academic performance and emotional well-being. These problems can persist into adulthood.
According to Stop Bullying, children who are bullied are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, sadness, and loneliness. They might lose interest in activities they used to enjoy and experience changes in their sleep and eating patterns.
Bullying also leads to worse academic achievements and a higher likelihood of missing, skipping, or dropping out of school.
#4
In elementary school, it was me. I'll admit it i was a massive f-k head. While I blame my upbringing, it was still 100% me.
So what happened?
I went in the military and got my s**t together. Got out and really did a lot of introspection and basically changed.
I'm now an advocate for people who are marginalized and defend the f**k out of people and their rights at work. I'm a union Steward and work very closely with our employees and labor reps in helping our members out.
But yeah, that was a part of me I wish never existed.
Image credits: Rambos_Magnum_Dong
#5
He died. Tried to bully the wrong person, got punched and fell backwards and c*****d his skull on the pavement. The family tried to sue but surveillance footage showed he was the aggressor and the person was only trying to defend themselves.
Image credits: Neither-Bowl7645
#6
This guy wasn't a classic "school bully" type, but he went out of his way to put me down a lot in high school even though we were basically in the same group of friends.
Ran into him at a small house party while I was home from college for the summer like a year or two after graduation. He pulled me aside and sincerely apologized for being a d**k to me in high school, basically said that high school wasn't an easy time for him and that the way he acted towards me had more to do with that than it did with me. I accepted his apology and as far as I'm concerned we're still friends even though I haven't seen him in well over a decade since then. If I somehow ran into him today, I'd be stoked to catch up over a couple beers.
Image credits: r0botdevil
School bullies also face many negative effects stemming from their behavior. They are more likely to grow up doing risky behaviors, such as misusing alcohol and controlled substances.
They’re also more likely to drop out of school, vandalize property, get into fights, have criminal convictions, and have traffic citations. Moreover, bullies run the risk of being more violent toward their partners and kids as adults, Stop Bullying explains.
Meanwhile, bystanders who witness bullying are more likely to misuse tobacco, alcohol, and other substances. They also have an increased risk of missing or skipping school and developing mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety.
#7
Relentlessly homophobic bully (I’m straight, not that it matters), he now lives with his boyfriend and is a low-level supermarket manager.
Image credits: FOARP
#8
So my dad once told me 'yea we lied to you about why we changed your school in 5th grade. It wasn't because of the teachers you would have had, it was because you were being bullied and we wanted you out of that situation":
"well, that is really weird dad because my worst bullies were in the house with me, school was a cake walk in comparison" (2 older brothers).
#9
It was weird, I was just at home and I got a call on my landline (this was a long time ago). He introduced himself, and asked if I remembered him. I did, but played it off kind of casually and acted like what he did wasn’t always on my mind.
He said that he wanted to apologize for the way he treated me back when we were in school. I think he was going back to school himself (we were in our thirties) and having trouble fitting in as an older student, which made him realize how hurtful his actions were.
I really appreciated that he reached out to me like that, as a lot of people had bullied me during my school years. He was the only one to apologize.
After we hung up, a huge tidal wave of relief washed over me. I marked his name off the list, then put on some lipstick, because it makes me feel beautiful; and in that moment, I was.
Image credits: MaiPhet
As per Health Direct, some of the most common signs that your child might be being bullied include the following:
- Being unusually secretive and quiet
- Not sleeping properly
- Being oversensitive
- Angry outbursts
- Physical injuries
- Headaches and stomachaches
- Becoming isolated and withdrawn
- Losing interest in regular activities
- Receiving more messages on social media than usual
- Damaged belongings
- Missing belongings
- Wetting the bed again
#10
She had a profoundly disabled child who I ended up working with when he attended the specialist School I worked at. She was a wonderful parent, her son was a complete pleasure to support, and we went a god few months without acknowledging the past.
One day, she was having a difficult time at drop off as her son became distressed. I called her once he had settled to assure her he was now fine, and she said ‘thank you so much, you are so kind to me and I know you don’t have to be, after what I used to be like.’
Image credits: WinComprehensive8274
#11
He got a house worth half a million dollars; a cushy job; a wife and four cute kids; and a church community that loves him.
I got CPTSD from being repeatedly SA'd by him and no one cares because we were minors and "someone must have taught him how to do that by SAing him/he didn't understand what he was doing," as though that will magically cure me.
I yell at everyone who says that bullies will get what's coming to them" and "life gets better for the bullied" as if those are universal truths instead of thought-ending cliches.
#12
He became a cop… kinda makes sense tbh.
Organic_South8865:
Yeah same here. Even after getting expelled for getting into tok many fights. He's on his 3rd or 4th marriage last I heard. I know one of his colleagues and everyone hates working with him because he always escalates every call.
afdc92:
There’s definitely a correlation with male bullies becoming cops and female bullies becoming nurses.
Image credits: Initial_Drawer_6705
Dealing with bullies is an incredibly complex question. Verywell Mind urges victims of bullying to reach out to authority figures (your teacher, colleague, boss, parent, friend, etc.) and tell them about the situation.
“These figures can help intervene and advocate for you or the person being bullied. If you don’t get the help you need from your first attempt, try again with someone else.”
Meanwhile, you have to be direct and hold the bully accountable for their actions. Be very specific about their problematic actions. Set healthy boundaries, explain what’s unacceptable, and give them an opportunity to change their behavior.
If your bullies don’t stop, it can help if you get a so-called safety buddy. In short, stick with people you trust so they can increase your safety and deter the bullies.
#13
Don’t judge but he’s currently in our bedroom sleeping.
😬
We’ve been together 17/18yrs now and thankfully he grew up and matured and did better with his life.
Image credits: DelusionalNJBytch
#14
F****r sent me to the hospital in 6th grade with a concussion. I moved away a few years later.
I heard he went on to a relatively short, undistinguished career in UFC.
I've never given it a ton of thought until now...
I just googled him. He ended up with a 10-year prison sentence in CA in like 2013 for domestic violence. Beat his poor girlfriend half to death.
I can't say I'm surprised.
Image credits: Ippus_21
#15
Unvaccinated MAGA redneck, died of COVID in 2021.
Verywell Mind suggests that instead of being a bystander, you should aim to be an ‘upstander.’ “This is someone who boldly speaks up to stop the bullying in its tracks. Simple ways to intervene are to question the bully’s behavior out loud, change the topic, or recruit an authority figure.”
Another tool in your arsenal is not reacting to your bullies’ attempts to provoke you. That way, they lose their sense of control. In the meantime, minimize the contact you have with your bullies and practice empowering body language to be perceived as confident and intimidating. This helps ward off some bullies.
Meanwhile, if you’re threatened and perceive a risk to your safety or that of your friends, immediately contact law enforcement.
#16
Oh buckle up for girl bully stories.
Blonde cheerleader made her entire life about being pretty. Goes to college and gets her MRS degree. Super proud of her handsome, successful husband and she feels sorry for ugly women who can’t get someone like him. Has a couple kids. Then she gets breast cancer and has a double mastectomy. Her husband dumps her because he’s not attracted to her anymore. I guess if you make your entire identity about your looks, that doesn’t leave much to fall back on.
I do genuinely feel bad for her now, but she is one heck of a cautionary tale.
Image credits: hahahahthunk
#17
She was pushed of a bridge for being a b***h a couple months after graduation!
She bullied me horribly from 5th to 12th grade.
I'm 44. Even typing that out made me glad she's gone.
Eta: it wasn't me.
Image credits: BabyJesusBukkake
#18
My school bully tormented me so badly, I eventually left school. She wasn’t very attractive and relentlessly bullied powerless pretty girls. Years later, I found out her father had been s**ually a**sing her from a young age. My rage towards her changed. I still have my scars but I also feel sorry for her.
Were you ever bullied at school, Pandas? What happened to your bullies after you all grew up? What advice would you give anyone who’s being bullied now or whose own kids are being bullied in class?
It’s a very sensitive topic, but if you feel like sharing your thoughts, feel free to do so in the comments.
#19
Mine tracked me on social to apologize. Turns out he never got out of that town (I was bullied for not being from there) and his kid is now being bullied. I guess he saw the damage. He went and apologized to a few of us individually.
Image credits: Alycion
#20
I moved to a different country and recently deleted Facebook, but the last time I got any information about her, she was the same insufferable entitled brat that I knew in elementary school. She complained that a supermarket didn't let her take her dog inside (dog was not leashed) and then said stuff like her dog is cleaner than the people working there... I hope she has the life she deserves, but the world is not fair like that.
#21
She had a baby and realized what a c**t she was being, did a metric ton of work on herself, and is now an incredibly pleasant lady with a well-adjusted adorable little boy. This will be his first year of middle school, I think (OUCH MY BONES), and I hope it treats them both well. Good for her.
Image credits: Jingotastic
#22
Divorced 3 times. Fat unhealthy, lonely. Does it make me happy? Well... probably more than it should.
#23
He grew up into being a bar fly and then must have forgotten about locking me in playhouses with his stinky socks because he had the nerve to ask me out. I wasn't mean but reminded him that he was my bully once and said that I was surprised he even asked. Sure maybe he grew out of it, but no thanks. It's not worth finding out first hand.
Image credits: bregrace
#24
She's a single mom of 5, and we're only 24.
Image credits: Happy-Smell-2419
#25
He went on to k**l 2 gas station attendants (including a mom of 11) at 2 separate gas stations and was arrested while casually eating at a McDonald's. He laughed inside the court room during victim impact statements and when the judge passed down back to back life sentences. Years later he attempted to k**l his cell mate.
Image credits: Well_Spoken_Mute
#26
I only know about two.
The little boy in Youth Group/Children's Church who used to throw frogs onto the floodlight bulbs to watch them fry accidentally k**led a man in a fight in a bar parking lot when he was 22. He hit the dude just wrong. He then tried to cover it up by stealing the dude's car and leaving the corpse in the driver's seat. The stolen car and the corpse were found within the week and the cops were mighty curious how a corpse with a broken head came to be sitting in the driver's seat. Frog-Fryer had left fingerprints everywhere AND was on the bar's security tapes. Manslaughter, attempted cover up, mishandling of a corpse, and grand theft auto. I think he's out by now, unless he did something else while incarcerated, which wouldn't surprise me.
The boy who spit on me on the middle school bus after I told him to stop talking about my b***s was arrested for r**e at his home... where he was cooking m**h.
#27
He died in Vietnam. Actually, he was less of a bully and more just a cocky greaser type a couple of years my senior, who for some reason used to pick on me relentlessly, to the point of kind of ambushing me in the dark basement halls of our century old school house. And while the news of his death seemed to offer a big helping of "Ha, see what you get" to my plate, it was a profoundly sad moment and one that shaped and hardened what would become my anti-war stance. He was a p***k, but he didn't deserve that. Nobody did.
#28
About 20 years ago, I had a blog. I wrote a few entries about how he used to bully me and how it made me feel.
A few months after that blog post went live, I got an email from his lawyer. My bully was now involved with a dot-com. They were about to go public, and were afraid my blog post could scare off investors. The politely asked me to take it down. I said I wouldn't, but I offered to redact his name. They accepted the compromise.
A few months after that, I got an email from said bully, apologizing for his behavior and the usual, "I thought I was just joking around" excuses, and he offered me a job in his dot-com. I didn't reply. Last I heard, the dot-com went belly-up after few months.
Image credits: originalchaosinabox
#29
Last I heard, in jail for m**der that he tried to get away with by burying his boss under some leaves. Apparently his boss had taken him to a known gay hookup spot and, shocker, hit on him. Fun part is they worked at a Christian bookstore.
#30
He runs one of those online scams where he poses as a wealthy person selling his workshops and courses to teach you the “secrets” to becoming fabulously wealthy with a passive income just like him.
Image credits: saladdressed
#31
He's become a way better person. We're friends now.
#32
I actually looked him up this year and he had been charged for m**dering a high ranking cop in Chicago. When i looked him up right after high school about 20 years ago he was being charged for throwing hot oil at celebrants at a baby shower for being too loud. According to the article in Chicago he’s been in trouble with the law all throughout adulthood.
#33
She’s living her best life. Married a military man, is now a millionaire and never needed to work a day in her life. Meanwhile I still have vision problem in my right eye because she kept hitting me in it, probably single for life, and suffering in college. No repercussions for her at all. It makes me wonder if I did something to provoke that behavior out of her and she’s in the right and I deserved to be used as her punching bag because everyone cheered her on and it seems like God himself favors her.
Image credits: i-fart-butterflies
#34
She got pregnant by sophomore year of high school, openly called her unborn child "my b*stard," didn't graduate high school, I'm unaware if she got her GED although hope she did for her child's sake, and stayed in her parents' house for many years. The last I heard, she had issues with a**ictions.
She bullied me for my weight relentlessly for years. I never wished anything bad on her and I hope she's doing well since she has a son and he deserves a good life, it's not his fault he was born into a bad situation.
Image credits: OddIdeal7754
#35
When I was in my mid 20s, I joined the company where he worked (in a different department). He'd just been demoted from a manager role because he'd been looking at p**n on the work computers! I laughed.
Image credits: HangedSanchez
#36
He's serving life in prison.
M**der. Dude had serious anger problems. K**led his girlfriend.
Image credits: Brilliant_Anxiety_65
#37
I watched him die in the ICU I was working in. Had a myriad of health problems due to alcoholism and died a very slow, painful death.
Image credits: Funloving54
#38
He mellowed out and became super friendly. I don't know why, it was surprising to me, I hated that guy but we found ourselves both working security at a concert years after school and he was just totally cool and seemed genuinely glad to see me. I haven't seen him since but I didn't hate him anymore.
#39
She took care of my son in the ICU.
Image credits: AdamSandlersBBshorts
#40
Died 5 years ago at 35 years old. I oddly felt empathy. But I can remember being like 8, and 9, asking God to k**l him or me at night, he really made my life bad. And he was the only one. And parents told me not to stand up for myself physically, and tell teachers and they all turned blind eyes.
Made life really bad growing up ages 7-12. All the humanity and caring for others was sucked out of me.
#41
He died at 20, overd*sed on opioids.
He had a tough child hood so can't blame him. Father physically a****d his mother, almost killed her and went to jail dor a long time when he was a kid.
His mother was a famous glamour model in my country at the time.
Knowing that all kids around have seen my moms t**s and knows my father is in jail would probably f**k me up too.
Rest in peace.
#42
Transgender
Apparently they were struggling with gender identity (along with the other stress of high school) and bullied people as a coping mechanism.
Image credits: GrimeyScorpioDuffman
#43
He became a senator. Seems fair.
Image credits: DivingforDemocracy
#44
They keep sending friend request on FB…like move on dude…we ain’t friends.
#45
He became super rich due to his confidence and networking skills and I became super poor due to low or no confidence and with no one wanting to be my friend or mentor.
Image credits: No-Advantage4069
#46
He's in the NFL Hall of Fame. Not kidding.
#47
Picked on the wrong guy in a bar one night and was beaten to death. Guy did it with his bare hands from what I understand. Heard about it when I was home on leave and catching up.
#48
Reddit likes to bemoan how their bullies are successful but mine really did fit the stereotype of getting ugly and failing at life rotting in the same s**t hole town. Lol Whereas I kinda had a little glow up. .
#49
He delivered a pizza to my house a few years ago.
#50
He grew up and got his s**t together, and I slept with him 20 years later lol.
