Finding time to exercise can be difficult. When you’re busy, one of the first things that goes out of the window is your commitment to stretching, lunging and bench pressing the equivalent of a Shetland pony.
This is a fact that I can testify to only too well. Not only have I failed to find the time to work out in the nigh-on two decades since my last school PE lesson. But I struggled to find the time to do it even during said class, what with all the feigned injuries and forged sick notes I was presenting. The last time that I actually, properly exercised? It could genuinely be close to 20 years ago.
So this How to Work Out Anywhere video is very much aimed at me. It breaks exercise down into short, manageable chunks and turns it into something that I can easily squeeze into my schedule. What’s more, it looks to be mercifully light on people watching you and then sending reports to your parents labelled: “Lazy and obstructive”. Thus, I decide to give it a go.
The first lesson from the video is that a good way to fit workouts into your everyday life is to try doing them at home – no need for the gym if you introduce a routine whose only requirement is a small area of floor space. So, I attempt to follow the video’s suggestion of engaging in lunges, squats, sit-ups and push-ups from the comfort of my own living room. And, given how microscopic my flat is, it turns out that I get the bonus exercise of rearranging my furniture so that I can execute a press-up without role playing a humpbacked bridge.
I force myself through 20 press-ups, 20 sit-ups, three squats (they hurt) and zero lunges (did I mention that the squats hurt?). I’m sweaty, achy and I can’t say that I much like it. Also – and I genuinely have no idea how I managed this – it turns out that I have carpet-burned my coccyx. For the next couple of days my tailbone throbs like I’ve scalded it with hot soup. Every time I sit down I find myself hissing in pain, sounding like a leaky bouncy castle. Is this what exercisers mean by feeling the burn? Whatever it is, I hate it.
Fortunately, the next lesson aims to make sure that you “walk everywhere, and fast – always take the long route, always take the stairs”. This is excellent news, as I already do this. If I’m ever going somewhere that’s under an hour’s walk, I travel by foot. I never stand on tube escalators when I can power up the left-hand side. And I’m always late, so the only pace I ever have the option of leaves me a hot, sweaty mess.
Nonetheless, this news is a revelation to me. I walk because I enjoy it, not because I want to exercise. If I’m honest, I hate the idea of exercising – always have done (see my approach to PE). But it turns out that I’ve been exercising the whole time. What’s more, I’ve really been enjoying it. As my mind is reeling off into this line of thought, I catch the final tip of the video: “It’s important to make sure that you do what feels right for you.” And this, really, is the key: I walk because it’s something that I actively like doing. It just feels right for me. If I was doing it because I felt that I had to, I very much doubt that I’d stick at it. Some people love pumping iron or squat thrusting and for them, that’s great. However, for me, walking is the only exercise I want to do – and that’s OK. I’m my own man.
Although, as the last second of the video plays, I realise that I also wish I was someone who watched videos right to the very end before trying out their advice. “You know your body best, don’t hurt yourself,” it proclaims. Yeah, could’ve done with seeing that before I shredded the skin off my tailbone …
Photography: Dan Wilton
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