I hate having sex and my problems are causing so much stress that we are going to file for divorce. We’ve been married for five years and been together for eight. I stopped having orgasms about four years ago. I’ve never had any trauma, no one has cheated and we still get along. I do have depression and am on medication, but I don’t consider that to be a factor because I have been for all of our relationship.
Don’t seek a divorce until you find out the reason for your lowered libido. First, seek a reevaluation of your depressive symptoms and medication. Your assumption may be erroneous, as your responses to medication – both psychological and physiological – are not necessarily constant over time. At the beginning of your relationship there may have been sufficient novelty to counterbalance side-effects, but over the years the situation may have changed. Not all antidepressants will produce side-effects, so it could be worth asking your doctor if you can try something different. Besides this, there are many other possible reasons why a person might suffer from reduced desire – unconscious fears, unresolved partner conflicts, hormone deficits, body-image problems, and many more. If you and your partner are willing to work together – ideally with a good therapist – to discover the real reasons why both of you are currently denied the pleasure and intimacy you deserve, your marriage may survive and grow.
