TikTok user Ash (@glutenfreebaddie1352) was shocked to discover her friends have different expectations about what’s appropriate to eat on a first date. In a video with more than 65,000 views, the social media user lamented her apparent social discrepancy when going out with someone for the first time.
“So last week I went on a (first) date, and I sent my friends a picture of what we both ordered,” Ash said. “Their response baffled me.”
She showed off a photo of what she ordered in the video—a rack of ribs with two sides—and laughed at the apparent faux pas. “I personally don’t think it was a problem that I ordered ribs on a first date,” she said.
According to Ash, her friends told her she lacked social cues for ordering a meatier, hands-on dish.
Is it weird to order a rack of ribs on a first date?
While some blogs recommend that people stay true to themselves and their food choices, etiquette experts often suggest both men and women avoid saucy, messy foods on a first date.
Glamour, an online culture, beauty and wellness site, once listed the “top (five) problem foods to avoid ordering on a date.” The first category on the list was “foods that are awkward to eat.”
While the outlet specifically mentioned salads and sushi, it’s reasonable to assume that wings and ribs fall under the same category because of their saucy, hands-on nature.
Other blogs have directly recommended avoiding ribs on a date. In an article addressed to women, The Garnette Report wrote, “It’s a known fact that this meal is just absolutely mouthwatering, but how about let’s just save it for the family cookout and not when you’re trying to find your knight in shining armor.”
Commenters weigh in on the rib debate
Commenters quickly took sides on the rib debate, sparking a conversation about whether it’s appropriate to eat hands-on foods when meeting someone for the first time.
Many agreed with Ash and said they didn’t realize any societal expectations existed regarding food choices on dates. “I didn’t know girls ate differently [on] dates,” one user, @LeTired, commented.
Others reflected on how the ribs might have appeared to Ash’s date. “[Ribs are] just so messy,” @Gina wrote.
@glutenfreebaddie1352 Do I have no social cues
♬ original sound – Ash
How gender can affect food choices in the dating world
While it’s generally considered less classy to eat ribs on a first date for both genders, it’s worth noting that double standards and gender essentialism also shape dating expectations around food.
A study published in Frontiers in Nutrition found that women often select lower-calorie, “lighter foods” as a way to manage impressions in dating settings. According to the study, women “reported significantly stronger preferences for more feminine food alternatives” in dating situations. This behavior may stem from ingrained social modeling. The study shows that women are more likely to engage in impression management tactics to signal attractive qualities to a partner, reflecting long-standing societal and cultural norms.
Societal expectations have long existed around what each gender eats through the concept of food gendering. The classification of certain meals as “masculine” or “feminine” foods can negatively affect both men and women by creating unhealthy expectations about attractiveness and desirability.
Despite formal etiquette rules, it’s important to acknowledge that eating is a spectrum and not everyone shares the same appetites or standards for food etiquette.
As @LeTired put it in her original comment: “Eat the ribs.”
The Mary Sue has reached out to @glutenfreebaddie1352 for comment.
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