A funny thing happens when you turn up laden with novelty chocolates to force feed kids, as I discovered at the tugboat that Kate Carpenter, Adrian Priestman and their boys Falco (four) and Mannix (six) live on in south-east London. “I’ll eat so much chocolate it’s going to make my bum explode!” shouted Falco, a threat that his family evidently took seriously. Bidding a hasty retreat, I let them enlist help from neighbours, Sebi Sahillioglu, Lee Williams and their daughter Laura Rosa (four) for this tough gig. They worked through a huge selection of stocking fillers from confectioners around the country – here’s what rocked their boat (not sure if the boat’s still floating).
Chococo’s Robot Capsule, £7.50, 135g
“Chocolate in a can? Weird.” The novelty factor of this one got it plucked from the pile right away. The chocolate tasted great and the tin was loved for post-munching possibilities, though potential divisions surfaced early on - Laura Rosa: “I’m going to put more chocolates in it afterwards.” Falco: “No, I’m going to use it as a jet plane booster.” One for the parents to suss out. 4/5
Aldi’s Chocolate Santa, 99p, 200g
You can’t not have a Chocolate Santa at Christmas, so unsurprisingly, this budget option was embraced by Laura Rosa. “Kind of tastes like butter, no i mean coconut,” she said. “No … dark coconut; oh wait, I mean dark butter.” Whatever it was, it scored well for taste with everyone, and with the parents for its price. 4/5
Lindt Bauble, £9.99, 550g
The size of Lindt’s offering stunned everyone into silence then sparked a noisy discussion about its architecture – whether it was one solid chocolate, or, as Mannix insisted, it would “have loads of little chocolates inside”, easter-egg style (right first time). A simple idea but its generous girth made it a showstopper. Definitely one for sharing). 5/5
Betty’s Chocolate Fawn, £9.95, 160g
Betty’s artful workmanship got this pretty chocolate deer a good reception. “Thumbs up from me,” announced Falco straight off. “That reminds me of Bambi, said Laura Rosa, “way better than a 5 like a 7,” she decided. The boys brought it down a notch though. 4/5
Monty Bojangles scrumpy nut truffles, Budgens, £3, 200g
Notwithstanding their dark chocolate coating, all the kids loved these truffles. “I like these Bojangles,” declared Falco, something of a maverick scorer: “I would give them a 10 out of five.” Laura Rosa thought they tasted like ice-cream”. The parents loved them, too – no reason the kids’ stockings shouldn’t be a good vehicle for adult-friendly chocolates.
