Mother-in-law/monster-in-law jokes exist for a reason. They poke fun at the complicated and, at worst, strained relationships many people seem to have with the mothers of their spouses.
This story is likely one of the many you’ve read on this site. A woman visiting her daughter decided to step on her son-in-law’s boundaries. Her actions were way out of line and upset her grandson, yet she refused to apologize.
Unfortunately, the chaos strained the man’s marriage, which made him wonder if he may have overreacted.
Some people have strained relationships with their mothers-in-law, as this man did
Image credits: Man_mannly (not the actual photo)
It all happened during his MIL’s visit, with a Lego collection he cherished
Image credits: Zinkevych_D (not the actual photo)
MIL was so perturbed by the author’s hobby that she decided to take action
Image credits: Ok-Repeat7885
Some mothers-in-law can be toxic because they aren’t on board with their child’s partner of choice
There are several reasons why mother-in-law relationships can get complicated. Many conflicts often arise between women and their daughters-in-law because of the competition for attention and resources.
But one factor that isn’t gender-specific is when MILs aren’t on board with the partners their children chose.
According to social psychology professor Madeleine Fugère, Ph.D, parents typically put more value on specific characteristics for their child’s partner. These may include a good family background and sound financial prospects.
They don’t care about a good sense of humor or, as in the story, a creative passion for Legos. This is where they disconnect from their children, which may lead to conflict.
“Because of these different preferences, we may choose mates for ourselves whom our parents would not have chosen for us,” Fugère wrote in her article. “This may lead to an initial dislike on the part of our in-laws, which can be difficult to overcome.”
However, the author’s mother-in-law may have also exhibited signs of narcissism, which include a lack of responsibility for her words and actions, showing aggressive and hostile behavior if she doesn’t get what she wants, and a lack of boundaries.
Since the mother-in-law refuses to apologize, the author’s next best move is to create distance. While getting the message across will be a challenge, it is a necessary step.
“Remember that she is an adult that you can use clear and direct communication with, and you are able to ask for space when you need it,” psychotherapist Maggie Holland wrote in an article for Choosing Therapy.
The author was within his rights to ban his mother-in-law from visiting his home after the incident, especially since it also profoundly affected his son. And he should keep it that way until he gets a proper apology.
Commenters rallied behind the man, collectively saying he wasn’t out of line
UPDATE
Image credits: DragonImages (not the actual photo)
The author shared an update
Image credits: Iakobchuk (not the actual photo)
Both his marriage and family life had been affected by the unnecessary drama
Image credits: Ok-Repeat7885
More people in the comments showed support for him
