Spoiler Warning: Major spoilers for Final Destination: Bloodlines follow. If you haven’t watched the movie, you can do so with an HBO Max subscription.
After being in hibernation for for nearly a decade and a half, Final Destination: Bloodlines brought back one of the greatest horror franchises of all time with yet another lesson about the consequences of cheating death. The 2025 movie, which has some of the franchise’s gnarliest and most intricate deaths, introduces and kills too many characters to count. There is one, however, whose death was so hilarious I kind of feel bad about it.
Before I get much further, I have to stress that, as a parent, I feel terrible about what I’m about to say, but I have to say it nonetheless. That said, that little brat in the movie’s insane opening sequence had it coming, both in the premonition and later in life.
Don't Judge Me, But The Penny Kid Deserved To Get Crushed By A Piano
As soon as that little kid (played by Noah Bromley), later revealed to be Alfred Milano, was introduced in Final Destination: Bloodlines, I thought to myself, “surely, they’re not going to kill a kid here.” However, as the scene went on and I saw just how much of a shit the kid was being to everyone at the Sky View, I wanted to see this little brat with that shit-eating smirk get taken out by death in spectacular fashion.
Again, as a parent I feel bad saying this, but seeing the troublemaker have his comeuppance by getting crushed by a piano near the end of the opening disaster cracked me up more than anything else in this movie. It was so well deserved and pulled off remarkably. I didn’t catch Bloodlines on the big screen (I’m kicking myself for that one), but I am willing to bet that moviegoers around the country were also laughing hysterically in this crushing moment. Basically, this wasn’t one of those movie deaths that broke our hearts.
Though He Survived The Disaster In Real Life, Death Has A Funny Way Of Getting Even
Shortly after the penny kid gets his in the opening scene, it’s revealed that it was the franchise’s latest mysterious premonition sequence that was all a psychic vision of Iris Campbell (Brec Bassinger), the grandmother of the movie’s protagonist Stefani Reyes (Kaitlyn Santa Juana). As is the case in other entries in the franchise, Iris saved countless lives that day back in 1969, but as is also the case with the earlier movies, death came back for everyone who cheated it.
However, Death has a sense of humor in Bloodlines, as it is revealed later in the movie that the penny boy, whose name is Alfred Milano, ended up dying in a manner that was painfully similar to that premonition. In the sequence where Stefani puts up the newspaper clippings about the deaths of the Sky View survivors, it’s revealed that Alfred died after being hit by a piano-moving truck while trying to pickpocket someone. A fitting, and hilarious, way of going out, if I don’t say so myself.
Though his death isn’t shown on screen, and we’ll never know how it stacks up against the Final Destination franchise’s best kills, I’m sure it was as great as it sounds. Who knows, maybe with talk of a Bloodlines sequel, we’ll get to see it for ourselves.
