Christmas is a time of bringing families together and forgetting past injustices. But that is not as simple as it sounds if the parents are divorced and there are children involved.
It can often the skills of a United Nations diplomat and the patience of a saint to navigate these tricky waters. It's a situation that's become an issue for one woman, whose ex-husband is insisting that his daughter by another marriage stays with her for Christmas.
The ex-couple divorced seven years ago and share custody of their 13-year-old daughter - while he also has a five-year-old daughter with his new wife.
The man is trying to convice his ex to accomodate both his daughters over the festive season and explained that his wife is suffering from cancer.
But the ex-wife doesn't want to have her daughter's half-sister over - and has taken to a Reddit forum for some advice and support.
"His daughter spends time with my daughter regularly," she said. "They adore each other but she doesn't come to my house and they rarely meet up there."
She is of course concerned about his wife's diagnosis, but doesn't feel this makes her more responsible for his daughter's welfare.
"His wife has been diagnosed with cancer and has started treatment recently," she said.
"The other day he came to drop our daughter off and asked to speak to me. He talked about his wife's circumstances then how his family won't be able to have a Christmas celebration this year.
"He said it wasn't fair for his daughter and asked if I could 'include' her in my family's celebration. He pointed out how the girls will have a great time together bonding and making memories."
As far as she was concerned, he had made an assumption too far.
She continued: "I said I was sorry but my family's traditional celebration is a sacred thing and I do not feel comfortable including anyone else. Plus it'd be awkward having her in my home."
He then laid on some serious guilt tripping, which has caused some controversy.
The woman said: "He said that his daughter may not be family to me but she sure is to her half-sister. He asked me to stop and 'think' about what's best for the kids here. I suggested he take his daughter to spend Christmas with her grandparents."
She tried to change the subject, but he wasn't having any of it, lashing out with some horrible jibe.
"I tried to cut the conversation short but he stopped me and started going on about how cruel it was for me to decline to include his daughter who's already having a hard time adjusting," she explained.
"I saw that he was beginning to cry so I stepped back and said I was no longer feeling comfortable having this conversation. I asked him to leave and he did but still texted me asking me to agree to let his daughter come spend Christmas even offered that he stays away if that'll make me less uncomfortable, I said no and now he's calling me selfish and unfeeling."
Her Reddit post clearly struck a chord with many, for there were over 8k comments, many appalled at his behaviour.
One person wrote: "That child doesn’t know you or your extended family, only your daughter. This could be her last Christmas with her mom and he’s wanting to take that away from her. Even if it’s just the three of them in pajamas eating cookies all day."
There were some trying to understand his actions, offering a different perspective.
Another said: "Maybe he is just trying to get her away from the ugliness that is happening to her mother so if she passes, Christmas can still be a happy memory for her. Not become about sickness and death. Children that young are shaped by the things happening in their lives and tragedies can leave mental scars."
But many more thought he was reneging on his duties as a dad, with one person posting: "Being sent away to a place where she is not wanted will also be traumatic. The kid cannot win, but Dad needs to step up parenting and make Christmas as good as it can be, even if that means a Skype call from hospital for mom."
Many more were unimpressed with him: "It’s brutal. I highly doubt that the mom is aware of the plan. MAYBE she’s getting treatment in the hospital and didn’t want her daughter to have to see her that way on the holiday, but it’s really doing a disservice to the child. I think it’s more likely that the ex doesn’t know how to cope as the responsible adult in the relationship and is grasping at straws."
Finally, one messaged: "So he wants to take his daughter away from any possibility of a Christmas with her mom (which may be mom’s last Christmas) and ALSO planned to stay away himself. Leaving his cancer stricken wife entirely alone. There are a few hints as to why he’s an ex."
