A 30-year-old woman has told her story of marrying young, taking on two step kids, and ultimately leaving because she “genuinely hated” raising two people that “hated her”.
The now single woman took to the popular Reddit forum 'AmITheAsshole' to talk about her experience and to ask for the public’s opinion after the kids - now 25 and 23 - say she “traumatised them for life”.
The anonymous woman says she met her ex-husband, Will, when she was 22, and he was 29, with two kids.
He was recently widowed when they met and she said they had a “whirlwind courtship where he introduced me to the kids and got me involved in their lives VERY early (first few days after I met him.)
“Will said really quickly he was sure I was 'the one', not only for himself but also for his kids, and that we'd have an incredible, happy family life.
“We got married when I was 23, Will was 30, and his kids were 8 and 6. Our wedding ceremony also included me and the kids making promises to each other, which was Will's idea.”
Very soon after the wedding, Will put the burden of “ALL the childcare” onto his new wife and simply said she was “better at it”.
For the first year of married life, she worked a full time job, looked after the house and raised the kids while her husband relaxed, drank with friends, and had boys nights in the house.
The now 30-year-old woman says over time, “he developed a major attitude with me, and encouraged the same in the kids.
“They found it funny. He started openly disrespecting me and encouraged them to also. He was the ultimate "fun dad" and I got put in the role of the mean witch. Sometimes they all ganged up on me and mocked me.
“But also all expected me to serve them and constantly be jumping up to care for them.”
By the end of the first year she said she realised the marriage was a big mistake, but felt guilty leaving because she had made those promises to the kids at their wedding.
“Another year went by and I realised that no matter how I tried, and how I knew they were only kids and I didn't really blame them, but I genuinely hated both of the kids.
“And I could not lie to myself any more and pretend that I loved them. I did not, and I never would.
“One day I just walked out, packed up everything of mine and moved out while nobody was at home. I left a note explaining it wasn't working and saying goodbye. That was the end.”
Years later, she received a text from her step-daughter - now 25 - saying she had betrayed and traumatised her for life after "abandoning them".
She said her step mum had a "responsibility to never leave no matter what."
After telling her story, many jumped to her defence with one saying; “It’s sad that the children lost their mother, but their father encouraging them to treat you like the evil stepmom was cruel to both you and them.
“Clearly the behaviour he showed continued after you left, and he kept telling Tamara and her brother how awful you were.
“You got yourself out of there: well done for being strong and wise enough to do so. Many people don’t have the strength to do that.”
Another wrote: “He married you because you were young and he thought he could manipulate you into raising his kids and being his servant.
“Good for you for leaving and not wasting your youth with him. I feel sorry for the kids, their mom died and their Dad is an as*hole, but you did nothing wrong.”
