The horror, the horror ... Was Marlon Brando born to play John Prescott?
Photograph: Chris Young/PA
It's fair to say that Marlon Brando made some turkeys before he finally joined the Wild Bunch in the sky a couple of years ago (Superman, The Island of Dr Moreau and, er, Michael Jackson's "You Rock My World" promo come to mind), but nothing as toe-curlingly awful as a life of John Prescott.
Yes, you did read that right - a biopic of the deputy prime minister. The burly former seaman and MP for Hull East, mulling over who would be up to the job of playing him in a filmed version of his journey from Cunard waiter to the man just one hearbeat away from having his finger on Britain's nuclear button, decided it would be none other than the mumbling giant of method acting himself.
The cruel cynics might suggest that the only thing Mr Prescott and Mr Brando have in common is their waistlines.
Not according to Prezza.
In an interview with Radio 19 in Bristol, Mr Prescott said that he identified with one of the star's most famous early roles as the former boxer turned longshoreman, Terry Malloy, in the film On the Waterfront.
Asked who he would would like to play him in a film version of his life, he replied: "I'll take Marlon Brando in On the Waterfront. I was always involved in strikes and seafaring and docks and so I'll take him."
In the film, the Brando character took on corrupt union bosses - echoing Mr Prescott's own struggles as a young leftwing union activist in 1966 with the leadership of the National Union of Seamen.
Mr Prescott added that he still enjoyed going to the cinema with his wife, Pauline, although his taste in movies was very traditional.
"I like westerns, I like pirates - I like things I want to enjoy," he said. "I like to come out walking like John Wayne."
Or Rocky, as Welsh farm worker Craig Evans might chip in. He was the 29-year-old voter decked by John Prescott during the 2001 election campaign.
Still as these two photos show, in his prime Mr Prescott was a doppleganger (it means "dead ringer", John) for Mr Brando's Colonel Kurtz in Apolcaypse Now.
