It's enough to make you roll out the bunting. Organisers at the Leeds and Reading festivals have announced that they will ban flags from the music arenas to stop enthusiastic standard bearers blocking the view. I'll admit to an interest. I'm short. Short enough that, if I was in charge, I would also empty the crowd of all hats, girls on their boyfriends shoulders, and anyone over 5ft 6in.
But the forest of flags is a particular problem. This year at Glastonbury the banners and signs on sticks didn't just block my view of the bands, they blocked out the huge video screens on the sides of the stage too. So, instead of being amazed by Blur's comeback set, I stood in the mud for an hour watching a piece of flapping fabric emblazoned with the not-so hilarious line: "I love sausages."
I'll admit that some signs are actually funny, such as the one I spotted during Rolf Harris's Glastonbury set: "Rolf, I think I'm pregnant." But flags were only ever useful as a way to locate your friends or your tent. Instead of screaming down the phone, "I'm at the front next to the left speaker," you could shout more accurately: "I'm at front next to the left speaker by the pirate flag." This year, however, there were so many you could spend a whole act waiting by one banner only to discover your friends were at an identical one at the other end of the field.
Most bizarre festival banners
"I am outstanding in my field"
"Dizzie Rascal for prime minister yeah"
"Will you marry me?"
"Ian Beale"
"Golf Sale this way"
