A woman said she separated finances from her husband after learning he gave more than $10,000 to his parents and secretly took another $1,700 from their shared savings. The nine-year marriage relied on her income after he was injured in a car accident and stopped working.
She explained on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole that his parents frequently borrowed money and rarely paid it back, leading her to create a private account to protect her savings.
Back Pay Sparked Conflict
The woman said problems worsened when her husband received disability back pay. She asked him to put the funds toward their truck loan and to rebuild savings. Instead, he diverted it to his family.
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Later, after she began setting aside money again, she noticed withdrawals she did not approve. When she asked about one missing sum, her husband said he passed it on to his parents, saying they would return it when possible. Weeks afterward, she discovered another withdrawal and said, "I blew up and lost my sh*t."
Marriage And Money Strains
In her post, she said she stayed in the marriage for the sake of their eight-year-old daughter, even as financial conflicts deepened. She admitted she was exhausted by repeated betrayals and revealed that his parents used the money to buy a motor home.
She described herself as the saver in the relationship while her husband spent freely, a dynamic that became more serious when his disability payments were delayed for years. During that time, their savings disappeared and debt grew, leaving her working long hours to keep the family afloat.
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Decision To Separate Finances
Following the repeated losses, she told him she would only cover her share of household bills. According to her post, she opened a separate account and withdrew her contributions, cutting off his access. Her husband objected, saying she should "want to make his parents happy."
"If he wants to lend all his disability to them, fine, but I'm not gonna go bust my ass 60 hours a week so he can keep giving our money away," she said. She rejected the claim, adding that she did not want her income used to support his parents while their own debts remained.
Online Reactions Back Her Move
Her post drew thousands of responses on Reddit. Many supported her decision. "Separate your finances and also review your relationship, if your husband thinks so little about you,” one user wrote. "That he put his family way above you and not even talk about you. But use you as an ATM for his family."
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