Nothing like a bit of Arctic Monkeys to get the day off to a good start. Photograph: Richard Lewis/AP
Gordon Brown, we learn, has U2, Coldplay, Bach, Beethoven and the Beatles on his iPod, writes Will Woodward. And "Arctic Monkeys really get you up in the morning."
I'm sure they do. After a conference call with Angelina, a visit to the James Bond studio where he remote-control-plunges a car into a swimming pool, and a full and frank interview with New Woman magazine ("Boxers or briefs?" again!), it's not surprising the chancellor needs something serious to think about first thing.
Alex Turner's lyrics are proper, searching, thoughtful; like big Gord himself. There's big ambition, deep resentment, and fiscal rectitude. But no hint of stable and orderly transition. "I wish you'd stop ignoring me, because you're sending me to despair/Without a sound you're calling me, and I don't think it's very fair," says Turner, and Brown sings along extra loud so the guy next door can hear him.
"Everybody's trying to crack the jokes and that to make you smile/Those that claim that they're not showing off are drowning in denial," says Brown to Blair. When the chancellor's praetorian guard start conspiring among the parliamentary Labour party, there's an explanation to his colleague next door in Downing Street. "Well over there there's friends of mine/ What can I say, I've known them for a long long time/ And they might overstep the line/ But you just cannot get angry in the same way." (But try telling that to the chief whip.)
Alex Turner also knows that heavy isn't everything. Lest we forget, Tony Blair is the first prime minister to openly admit to owning a Fender Stratocaster. He was lead singer in a band and no one would blink (much) if he turned up at the Brits 2009 to perform a duet with the Monkeys (or more plausibly now-fashionable soft rockers the Feeling). Blair has almost certainly got them on his iPod too.
"Now then Mardy Bum," he says to Gordon. "I see your frown/And it's like looking down the barrel of a gun/And it goes off/And out come all these words/Oh there's a very pleasant side to you/A side I much prefer." There we have it. Twelve years of contemporary British history in a verse.
