I have been single for a year and a half and feel I am stuck in a rut of chasing and ghosting people. I want a relationship and to settle down but I feel I am in a cycle where I don’t give enough time to the person I date because I am constantly searching for the next. I am aware it means I am treating people with less respect than they deserve. Internet dating doesn’t help and I delete apps, but then find myself going back to them. What should I do? Should I not see anyone for a while? Has anyone else found themselves behaving this way and changed and, if so, how?
• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.
• If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of about 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns.
• All correspondence should reach us by Wednesday morning. Email: private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms
