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We Got This Covered
We Got This Covered
David James

‘I also don’t wanna take responsibility’, pleads Elon Musk after spending months as Trump’s unofficial advisor

Poor smol bean Elon Musk. Why, he only donated a colossal $290 million to Trump’s election fund, spent months personally campaigning for him, led the disastrously incompetent DOGE department, and became a gurning, twitchy fixture in the Oval Office. Now they’re trying to pin the chaos that’s ensued on him?! That is SO not fair!

Yup, as of this weekend, the Musk/Trump bromance is over. Sure, he was given a shiny gold key, but Trump is now reportedly a DOGE skeptic, asking his advisers, “Was it all bulls***?” and is already getting rid of Musk-recommended appointees. On top of all that, Musk himself somehow received a black eye and has spent days facing credible stories that he’s so ketamine addled his bladder has stopped working correctly.

Now the richest man in the world is trying to wriggle out of the consequences of his actions as he faces a world that now considers him a bad joke:

Crashing back to earth

The only thing that’s fallen back to Earth harder than Musk’s reputation is one of his SpaceX rockets, and this precipitous fall from grace is destined to go down in the history books. Let’s go over the basics.

Tesla is now in crisis, with Musk cratering its reputation as an environmentally-conscious car manufacturer, releasing the embarrassing flop that is the Cybertruck, and making the company a lightning rod for anti-Trump protests.

X continues to bleed money, and the trustworthiness of its xAI’s Grok assistant is in tatters after the bizarre incident when it began spouting racist “white genocide” propaganda about South Africa. The South African Musk, who has spent the past year cozying up to racist propagandists, is hard at work trying to identify the mysterious culprit. Any day now they’ll figure out who did it!

Musk’s personal popularity is also underwater. Democrats despise him for well, y’know, everything. Meanwhile, Republicans are frustrated at having to spend time with him and blame his inane antics for their losing the critical Wisconsin Supreme Court election. With DOGE, Musk has made himself into a perfect scapegoat for Trump to use, and he can and will blame him when things start falling apart.

And, lest we forget, Musk is apparently now in genuine danger of permanent urinary incontinence, with his ketamine habit said to have wrecked his bladder, leaving even the richest man in the world with few dignified options for the rest of his life.

Maybe we should have some sympathy for the car crash Musk has made of his life. Or, maybe, this YouTube video sums the situation better than my words ever could:

You be the judge!

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