Marble Arch Mound
(Picture: PA)A hill in Marble Arch that cost £2m to build is offering refunds to unimpressed visitors after it opened to the public, not with a bang but a whimper.
The 25 metre ‘Marble Arch Mound’ was designed by Westminster City Council to create footfall in busy tourist areas of the city by providing great (?!) views of Oxford Street, Hyde Park and Mayfair.
Tickets to the temporary attraction range between £4.50 and £8. For this price, visitors can climb 130 stairs or take a lift to the ‘summit’. Once there, they can also enjoy food and drink sold by M&S Food and apparently there will also be light shows in the future.
It officially opened on Monday but people were left unimpressed by its charms.
Some pointed out that it looks like something from the Teletubbies:
The Marble Arch mound? The teletubbies did it better 😂 pic.twitter.com/Dz8cuvUfMZ
— Charlie Agnew (@Charl0ttesayshi) July 27, 2021
Marble Arch mound opens to visitors at a cost of £2 million. pic.twitter.com/fzBTlgTjEj
— J.R.Hartley’s Armchair. (@JRsArmchair) July 27, 2021
Others compared it to the Sims, Spyro, Minecraft and other computer games:
what has better graphics, the Marble Arch mound or Stone Hill from Spyro 1? pic.twitter.com/6dYj58qLim
— Joel (@HiJoelSmith) July 27, 2021
rare photo of the marble arch mound being built pic.twitter.com/R9nTQuroHm
— Danni ✌ (@Pseudannim) July 27, 2021
you cannot tell me the Marble Arch mound doesn’t look like the first level in mario 64 pic.twitter.com/Z4GqtjZqqB
— joshua (@joshcharles_21) July 27, 2021
Marble Arch mound looks like the awkward bits of land in The Sims that you have to use the flattening out tool on
— Susannah Butter (@susannahbutter) July 27, 2021
Others thought it was an inappropriate use of public money given that there are other issues occurring in the UK, like child poverty and regional inequality:
🤔😕 London wasted £2million building a mound of earth at Marble Arch
— Northern Independence Party 🟨🟥 (@FreeNorthNow) July 27, 2021
🟨🟥 Tell us again how there's no North-South divide? pic.twitter.com/40sMwvDxtp
I don't live in London. Is this a joke or have the Tories really built a 2 million quid slag heap by Marble Arch while children go to bed hungry and people sleep on the streets? https://t.co/qoat7v2B2X
— Undercover Elephant💙 🐘✊🌱 (@MrsNoone47) July 27, 2021
One person, Dan Barker, visited it and noted that it did not look like it did in its marketing photos, that the trees that had grown blocked the views, that it was expensive and that hardly anyone had shown up making the fast-track ticket option seem a bit pointless.
“I think they oversold it a bit,” he said.
I went to the Marble Arch Mound today. It cost £2 million to build, and today was launch day, but it was still quite quiet.
— dan barker (@danbarker) July 26, 2021
Here is a short thread with info.
First, the original plan drawings and the marketing description do not quite match reality. pic.twitter.com/Km4YFbxySm
But by and large, people just thought it was an incredibly lacklustre hill and proceeded to take the absolute p*** out of it:
I want to live in a hobbit house on the Marble Arch mound 😤
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) July 27, 2021
Marble arch mound is the worst thing I've ever done in London pic.twitter.com/njmpOFxrbf
— Emma Wright (@emmabethwright) July 27, 2021
That Marble Arch thing just looks like a giant tunnel from a Hornby train set.
— Martin Costello 🏳️🌈🇪🇺 (@martin_costello) July 27, 2021
what if we kissed 😳 on the £2 million marble arch mound 🙈 pic.twitter.com/82vN7Om2cY
— Joel Freeman (@JoelJFreeman) July 27, 2021
I’ve been getting dynamic, panoramic views of London from the top of double decker buses for years. I feel such a fool now that I’ve found out about the Marble Arch hill.
— surreyspinster (@surreyspinster) July 27, 2021
If you're brave enough.....come fight me by the recycling bins at the Marble Arch Mound
— HK (@HKesvani) July 27, 2021
And now, Westminster Council has said it will be refunding anyone who visited the hill in its opening week to give it “time to bed in and grow”.
In a statement, it said: “We are aware that elements of the Marble Arch Mound are not yet ready for visitors. We are working hard to resolve this over the next few days.
“The mound is a living building by design. We’ll continue to adapt and improve London’s newest outdoor attraction and resolve any teething problems as they emerge.
“We’re sorry for the delay and look forward to welcoming visitors when they’re ready to enjoy all the mound has to offer.”
Despite the naysayers, the mound does still have some fans. The Lord Mayor of Westminster, Cllr Jonathan Glanz, said: “I think it’s really exciting to see this coming out of the ground and giving a new aspect – literally – of views in this part of London.“I’d be very surprised if people didn’t come to take advantage of it because it really is unique. I’m really pleased to see Oxford Street bouncing back. We’re doing everything we can to encourage footfall.”
Kay Buxton, chief executive of Marble Arch London Business Improvement District, added: “Marble Arch Mound is a much-needed shot in the arm for the recovery of London’s hospitality sector, as we expect hundreds of thousands of visitors to come.“With international tourism still on hold, the sector is relying on domestic tourism to boost income.”
Those who wish to trudge up the mound can do so until January 2022.
Safe to say, it’s nobody’s hill to die on.
