Understanding your partner on a deeper level is so important, and it can be good to truly grasp their wants and needs so you can help them when times get tough.
One man thought he was doing the best by his 'workaholic' wife when he turned the Wi-Fi off in their house so she couldn't work anymore - but she actually called him "controlling, condescending, and borderline abusive."
The man was left confused by his wife's reaction, so took to Reddit's 'Am I the a**hole' forum to see what others thought, and they slammed him for "treating her like a child."
He wrote: "I (35) have been married to my wife Jen (30) for three years, and before that we dated for six years. She is also 32 weeks (eight months) pregnant with twins. She's my best friend and I absolutely adore her, with one minor flaw, she is a huge workaholic/perfectionist.
"While we both have very well-paying jobs, Jen's job is way more stressful and time-demanding. Even though she is brilliant and amazing at what she does, she often works around the clock (on average, 60-hour weeks) at home and in the office.
"This wasn't a problem before, but about two weeks ago her doctor told her to take a step back from work (i.e., go on leave early) because the stress was starting to cause her a couple of health issues, even though the babies are fine.
"However, being the workaholic that she is, she has still been working from her laptop six to eight hours every day. Which, fine, I understand that she had a couple of cases that she needed to finish. But most days she was so focused on work that she was forgetting to eat meals and falling asleep at her desk."
Because of this, her husband thought that he'd have to intervene before things got work.
He continued: "So, yesterday when I got home, I realised that she had done the same thing again. I woke her up and told her that she needed to go rest in bed. She insisted she was fine and said there was an emergency with a client of hers and she just needed to finalise some things for a coworker.
"I asked her just to take a break first and take a nap/eat, but she said that she would once she was done and that it wouldn't take her more than an hour. I told her fine, but no longer than an hour even though I was pretty annoyed.
"So, two hours later when she was still working, I became frustrated and unplugged the Wi-Fi and put the cable out of sight. The only purpose of this was to cut her off from work on her laptop because she clearly had no intention of stopping.
"Once she realised, she yelled at me, called me an a**hole, and she said that I was treating her like a child and accused me of being controlling, condescending, and 'borderline abusive'.
"I told her that she is being stupid and just to let the coworker that asked for her help to handle it. I said that she was free to use the mobile hotspot on her phone, or figure out the router herself, but otherwise I would plug it back in when I woke up (which I did).
"She was so mad that she slept in the guest room and when I went to apologise the next morning for calling her stupid (not for cutting the internet) she said that she can't even look at me. She hasn't said another word to me yet.
"I'm starting to feel like I might have been a bit extreme, even if I only did it out of concern. but honestly, overdoing it by trying to meet deadlines that she's not even supposed to be responsible for. Am I the a**hole?"
In the comments, people were not happy with the way the man dealt with the situation, claiming that he had treated her like a child.
Someone fumed: "To a certain extent, I get your concern especially if her doctor said to limit stress. Does she need a better work/life balance? Probably. But the way you deal with that concern is NOT by taking away your wife's autonomy.
"That's just unacceptable in a relationship. And frankly, given that your wife IS a perfectionist and worried about work deadlines, you probably caused her a lot more stress by cutting her off from the WiFi, hiding the cable, and demanding that she go take a nap like she's a naughty five-year-old."
Another disagreed though, commenting: "The wife is pregnant. I understand tying up loose ends, but to the point where you are losing sleep and not eating? That's not healthy.
"Cutting the wifi was a s*** way of going about it, but he had the right idea. He asked her to stop for a while (not all together) and eat and take a nap, and she still pushes herself. This is MORE than a work/life balance. It's detrimental to her and her babies' health. She should not be overworking herself that much."
Do you think he was in the wrong for cutting the wi-fi off? Let us know in the comments.
