Full-time: Hull City 1-2 Tottenham Hotspur
Well, that was a peculiar enough afternoon. Hull were very good for 50 minutes, but, on reflection, though there was no need for Ramirez to be sent off, neither was there a need for him to invite the opportunity. Hull might also feel that they could have done more subsequently - they posed very little threat on the break - but, on the other hand, shut Spurs down pretty effectively in the final fifteen minutes.
And then there’s Spurs. They didn’t play at all well, but handed the advantage by the referee, remembered enough of what they’re meant to know to force themselves back into the game, and persevered when it looked like they’d only wind up with a draw. They’re now tenth in the table, ahead of Liverpool and Stoke, while Hull stay fifth-bottom.
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90+4 min There’s a lot of ballooning in the away end, and well there might be - Spurs’ support have been excellent all afternoon, far more so than their players.
90+2 min Hull have sent Davies up front, but Spurs are doing a decent job of retaining possession.
90 min There shall be four added minutes, and Robertson is booked for dissent.
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GOAL! Hull City 1-2 Spurs (Eriksen 90)
As was just being said, Spurs are all over this. A quick interchange outside the box between Kane and Lennon, their runs crossing over each other, allows the latter to find Eriksen. He’s right of centre, 20 or so yards out, the ball a little behind him - and this enables him to curl his body around it, to whip a brilliant finish low past McGregor into the far corner. What a goal - and what a mighty fine adornment he is. This now looks like Spurs’ second late win against ten men.
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89 min Hull are sitting very deep now, as you’d expect, but Spurs haven’t threatened much these last ten minutes.
87 min Change for Hull, Quinn replacing Brady. Could someone please reassure me that Vlad Chiriches is known in the changing room as “The Drac”.
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85 min Chiriches has added a threat going forward, and again, he finds space, this time crossing low across the six-yard box. Again, Kane is alert, but can’t quite fire himself into its path.
83 min Mason is back on, but he’s hurt - but with Spurs all out of subs, he’s no option.
81 min Livermore hurtles into Mason from behind, catching his knee between his two legs, sliding them down, imparting studs, and trapping the ankle for extra suffering. Somehow, there is no sanction, though that was far nastier than anything Ramirez did, and certainly worthy of a second yellow card.
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80 min Lennon runs into trouble, and one long hump finds Jelavic, loitering alone up front and right of centre. He sets off towards goal, and then tries to feed Livermore, taking up alongside ands then ahead of him. But the pass is off, and the chance goes.
78 min Paulinho is about to replace Lamela, but Soldado then grimaces and feels his calf, so is spared further misery.
76 min A little bit more from Hull, who’ve been on the back foot for the last 20 minutes. Jelavic holds up well as the ball’s punted at him from the left, and he then lays off to Elmohamady, scooting up the right, turning to race into the box. The cross, though, is behind him, and though he makes a reasonable attempt at a(nother) scissors kick, he can’t direct it at goal.
75 min Rosenior lumps a free-kick forwards, and again, Lloris comes to gather. And again, he misses, though this time, at least, the fumble he achieves allows him to snatch at the second atttempt.
73 min Lamela suddenly appears into the game, left in space on the left, and with Davies’ run taking men away, he skips inside and across the face of goal, leaving two men - but he can’t get his right foot around the ball, instead skewing a shot high and wide.
71 min Seems like Soldado was offside when Spurs scored - he was blocking the keeper’s view, but even if not, what’s he doing on the pitch, if not seeking to gain an advantage? It would’ve made sense had it been disallowed on his account, but instead he can consider it an assist.
69 min One-way traffic this, and Mason left in space left of centre and 30 yards out, flings his enitre being into a shot that dips and swerves, McGregor doing well to get behind it and bunt it into the ground.
68 min And another bad miss! Lennon, who’s made an immediate difference, runs around in circles ot lose his man, then flights a beauty of a corss onto the forehad of Kane, up between Dawson and Rosenior. It’s as free a header as you’re getting, but somehow, he contrives to send it wide. Still, though, hard to see him not getting more chances of similar presentability.
66 min Spurs are going to score shortly, and should score immediately. Chiriches crosses low, hard and perfectly, the ball arriving into the stride of Soldado, who sweeps it into the far corner, except he sweeps it wide. Maybe he’ll get a penalty.
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65 min It would be entirely unacceptable for Elmohamady to leave the north-east, given the joy of how the accent there pronounces his name. It’s not up there with Terknee Meerbrey, but it’s still very good.
63 min Another change for Hull, Rosenior on for Huddlestone. He’ll go to right-back, and Elmohamady will play in front of him.
GOAL! Hull City 1-1 Spurs (Kane, 61)
What an effort from Eriksen, spanked over the wall and against the near post, to rebound directly into the path of Kane, who has the knack of anticipating the unanticipatable. He dispatches it easily, though it was trickier than it looked, and Spurs will fancy themselves now.
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60 min Soldado has come more into this the last few minutes, and he draws a foul fro Davies, inviting him to rap through his calves. Free-kick to Spurs, 25 yards out, dead centre - not sure Kane’s getting a shy at this.
59 min Lennon - remember him? - replaces Dembele.
58 min Mason outswings a delicious cross from the right, and Soldado is at the back post, sliding in, but opts to go at it with his left foot, when using his right might have given him an extra split-second to adjust.
56 min The game is now nurturing a pleasing tetch - every time there’s a collision, the crowd are up, guzzling the injustice. In the meantime, Ben Arfa is sacrificed for Meyler.
54 min “As a Scotland fan,” begins Simon McMahon, “may I humbly suggest to your good self and Fraser Thomas, who asked the question, that the Rabona-like name for when a player misses a ridiculously easy chance is an ‘Iwelumo’?”
I see where you’re going, but we need to do a little more than just appropriate - expropriate - a name. But, any excuse.
52 min And immediately, Spurs attack, Lamela advancing and stepping back onto his left foot. He crosses long, beyond the back post, but Davies catches up with it, nodding back across the box - only for Dawson to clear once again.
RED CARD! Ramirez has gone, on the advice of the linesman!
And what a piece ay nonsense it is. A combination of Dembele and Vertonghen brought him down from behind, and he rolled, half-arsedly trying to catch them with his raised studs in the act. Then Vertonghen half-arsedly falls over. and pparently this is violent conduct - despite barely counting as the latter, let alone the former. Steve Bruce is unchuffed.
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50 min There’s been a ruckus off-the-ball between Ramirez and Vertonghen. That’s exactly what we don’t want to see. He’s reaching for his back pocket!
49 min This is better from Spurs, Eriksen flitting inside and nudging a pass into the path of Kane, just outside the box. Again, he looks to shoot, but is crunched in the act by Michael Dawson; he’s been excellent so far.
47 min Soldado dashes back into his own half to pinch the ball, and Mason immediately sweeps into Lamela, who finds Kane - and suddenly, Spurs are “in and around” the Hull box. Kane shoots, and his effort is deflected behind, the corner obviously coming to nothing.
46 min That’s a tactical change, apparently. Or a you’re playing nonsense, he can only do better change.
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46 min Dier is replaced by Chiriches. Bass ballistics, he’s gonna kick this ... hard.
A plus for Spurs: Mason looks like he’s got a chance. That’s all I’ve got.
Email, with Mike Nagle. “Just how poor can Spurs be? They are Lamelantable. It is alright saying give this manager time but he has not spent his time very well at all. It is a relegation battle coming up.Terrible!”
It’s not great, is it. Are Liverpool Lallanamentable?
And here’s Hull Fair, in 1902.
Half-time distraction: Kingston upon Hull, in the aftermath of the Blitz.
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Half-time: Hull City 1-0 Tottenham Hotspur
Excellent half from Hull, who were purposeful, confident and inventive. Spurs, less so.
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45 min Eriksen finds himself in possesson wide on the right, deep inside the Hull half, and smashes a low cross that a domino rally of defenders first reach for, then pull away from. It zoots right across the box, with Kane and Soldado’s whereabouts unconfirmed.
43 min “Come on Jela, come on Jela, come on Jela, come on Jela,” hollas Bruce, and he’s quickly involved. Fazio, who so far has looked like nothing that resembles a footballer, knocks the ball to Huddlestone for no reason, and immediately it’s transferred to Jelavic on the left. With Ramirez nashing into the box, he bends a cross in his direction, but a combination of bodies do enough getting in the way to allow Spurs to clear.
43 min What is it with Christian Eriksen? Clearly, he’s capable of some lovely activity, but finds it hard to impose rather than adorn. Could he play in a midfield three, and might he be better used in one?
41 min Ramirez goes to lay the ball off first time, and Eriksen arrives from behind, introducing studs to Achilles. The referee doesn’t even deem it a foul, let alone a booking, and play proceeds, to the fury of the crowd.
39 min Another flash of Tottenham. Eriksen, who’s been quiet, slides a ball to Lamela, who, from wide left of the box, zetzes a cross-shot that screeches wide.
37 min On the subject of footballers’ songs, Mark Judd emails, saying “I’m sure the Hull fans could do something with this for Robbie Brady”.
At the game I was at yesterday, the away fans were singing “is there a fire drill” as the ground emptied before the end. What a world, eh. I blame Soccer AM.
35 min Spurs break on Hull, and then Hull break on Spurs, a lovely touch from Jelavic angling the ball into the path of Brady. For a second, it looks as though Dier is going to clobber him into the stands on general principle, but at the last second, he decides to jockey instead, and does well to avert the danger.
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34 min From close to the left edge of the box, Huddlestoe clips the free-kick towards Brady at the near post, but some defender or other does enough to nudge the ball behind - for a corner that comes to nothing.
33 min Brady teases Dier, signed by Daniel Levy as some sort of metagag about Spurs’ season. Dier loses his patience and dives in, so is booked - causing increased consternation, after Huddlestone was let-off. But Huddlestone was playing the ball, whereas Dier was playing his temper, so seems fair enough for me.
31 min Huddlestone, who’s already contributed a variety of fouls, is late on Kane. The Spurs players are eager that he be rewarded with a yellow card, which in turn elicits ire from Hull. But there’s nothing doing, and the free-kick is set up, 30 yards out, near enough dead centre. Harry Kane lines it up, then slams it straight into the wall.
29 min The first moment from Spurs. Lamela, left of centre and 35 yards out, sees a square pass en route so quickly passes one leg behind the other, diverting it to Dier, advancing down the right. He looks up to guage what’s going on in the box, and arcs a dangerous cross that is only just shy of Soldado’s forehead.
27 min “We need a Rabona-like name for when a player misses an easy chance and then furiously taps a body part indicating the ball had been deflected for a corner,” reckons Fraser Thomas.
I agree - and also that we need one anyway, pointing or not. What’s European for shank? Hilariousista. Tryharda. Send it your improvements.
24 min Can someone please reassure me that Harry Kane has a song to this tune.
21 min Great save Lloris! What a miss Ben Arfa! The twinkletoed Jelavic picks up Livermore’s flicked header along the right, and sees Brady tanking into the box, doing superbly to see him, and well to find him. If we’re being harsh, his cut-back is a little underhit, but Brady gets there anyway, round about the penalty spot, and forced to shoot immediately, cracks a low drive to Lloris’s left - only to see him lower his full 17”6 in a split second, to push it away from close to his ankles. But Hull aren’t done, and manufacture another attack down the left. Ramirez, close to the corner of the box, nips inside and whooshes a low one towards the near post, and this time, Lloris can only push it back into the danger area. Ben Arfa has time to ponder the vicissitudes of life, compile an anthology of thoughts, and then stroke the ball into the empty net, only to instantly spank it into oblivion, leaning back. Alan Pardew eats his own face.
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18 min Roberto Soldado wears a look of permanent disappointment on his coupon, which intensifies as he’s bustled off the ball. Kane then catches Huddlestone with a trailing arm as they contest a high ball, and from the free-kick, Lloris, in a sudden platz, nashes out to the penalty spot, gets nowhere near it, and needs Davies to scoop away as Jelavic and Ramirez try to smuggle it in. The corner comes to nothing, likewise the Spurs break that immediately follows.
16 min Thing is, Spurs have some nice players - Eriksen, Dembele, Lamela - but it’s not certain that they don’t need time and space, and at the moment, they’re getting neither.
15 min Spurs knock it around some more, and find Kane, who’s pulled left of centre. With nae mates around him, and the route to the box blocked, he snaps a low shot that’s on target, but easy for McGregor to collect.
14 min Brady and Robertson, each of whom can play the other’s position, interchange down the left. It comes to nothing, but they could develop into a very handy partnership.
12 min Spurs are knocking it around, but with more intensity and composure than conviction and purpose. Hull are quicker to the loose balls, and seem generally angrier - “big-time Charlies,” Bruce called them after the Burnley game. Which is important, because, to quote the aforementioned Roy Keane, “you don’t contest football matches in a reasonable frame of mind”.
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10 min Jake Livermore used to play for Spurs. So did Michael Dawson and Tom Huddlestone. Seriously. Livermore didn’t celebrate, being the Lillywhite legend that he is. Classy.
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GOAL! Hull City 1-0 Spurs (Livermore 9)
Uff marone, what a goal this is. An aimlesss long ball is flighted onto Vertonghen’s head, and he nods clear. But it’s directly into what Livermore makes his path, and with Davies not able to close down in time, he shapes right of centre and drills a perfect cross-shot that scorches past Lloris into the far bottom corner.
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7 min Huddlestone floats a ball over Dembele for Ben Arfa, who runs into, rather than at Davies. Somewhere in London Northumberland, Alan Pardew smirks further.
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4 min There’s a good row inside the KC, from both sets of fans, and Mason breaks quickly through midfield, finding Kane outside to his left. But, seeking Soldado, his pass is intercepted, only for Hull to give it away. This gives Lamela a chance, 30 yards out, to sway a little - he darts a ball towards Kane, who steps away, allowing Soldado to shift left to right across the face of the box. He shoots low, but it’s too close to McGregor, who’s forced to dive, but saves easily enough.
3 min Elmohamady sees the ball coming out of the air and over his shoulder, so flicks it back to McGregor with a knuckle. Only Soldado minds.
2 min Hull are pressing Spurs’ back four in possession, and that seems right - their confidence is low, and will want to settle into things, all the more so, what with their being Spurs.
1 min Hold up, wait a minute, ain’t nothin’ but tutti-fruity, get on the floor if ya got that booty. We begin.
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The players are gathered in the tunnel. Spurs’s are wearing tracksuit tops, menacing in the extreme.
The question on everybody’s lips: is Hull’s most dedicated supporter in the ground?
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About time Ben Davies got a run, #imnvhotbqhwy. It’s actually faintly peculiar that they bought him, then preferred Danny Rose is this time.
Apropos of the Gregorian calendar, on this day in 1999, Roy Keane made a mistake. Or, put another way, he’s been clean 15 years.
“We let waselves down at Burnley - in the three years I’ve been here, it’s arguably the worst we’ve played,” says Bruce. He explains the change of formation as “we’ve changed a few things, and the good thing about last season is we adapted well.”
One thing that might help Spurs: sticking with this side regardless of the result today. There probably isn’t an ideal combination, so giving a combination the opportunity to relax and groove might just work. Pochettino, meanwhile, is keeping the peace by blaming himself.
“I am happy with all players,” he said. “I have no complaint with the players. I complain with me because I need to give them more tools to play better. This is my worry.”
Would you put it past the squad to be hearing that and going “yeah, I agree, he’s right”?
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After losing to Burnley, Hull make six changes: out go Harper, Chester, McShane, Diame - who’s injured - Hernandez and Aluko. In come newly fit McGregor, Dawson, Davies and Jelavic, along with Robertson, Ben Arfa, and Ramirez. The presence of Ben Arfa, in particular, is exciting - not many players in the league have his natural ability, the question whether he, along with a manager, can work out how to extract the maximum from it.
Spurs, meanwhile, shovel in as many attackers as they possibly can. In Kane, Soldado has the partner he’s probably always needed, Lamela plays too, and in the centre, it’s the hitherto disappointing Dembele, with Mason alongside.
And our teams:
Hull City (4-2-3-1 of sorts, or maybe 4-4-1-1): McGregor; Elmohamady, Dawson, Davies, Robertson; Huddlestone, Livermore; Ben Arfa, Ramírez, Brady; Jelavic.
Subs: Rosenior, Chester, Meyler, Hernandez, Sagbo, Harper, Quinn.
Tottenham Hotspur (a continental 4-4-2, with no wingers): Lloris; Dier, Fazio, Vertonghen, Davies; Eriksen, Mason, Dembele, Lamela; Soldado, Kane.
Subs: Chiriches, Lennon, Paulinho, Vorm, Stambouli, Ceballos, Ball.
Preamble Tottenham are well-off, Hull are not. Tottenham play in an iconic stadium in the middle of their community, Hull play in an identikit new ground devoid of character. Tottenham is in one of the world’s great metropolises, Hull, despite boasting one of the world’s great universities, is not. Tottenham have won many trophies, Hull have not. Tottenham have a sophisticated, fashionable manager, Hull have Steve Bruce. Hull are 15th in the league, Tottenham are 12th. And yet, who’s happy? Football is great.
And increasingly, it’s hard to see a way for Spurs. Yeah, they’ll improve as the players get what Pochettino wants from them, he gets what they can give him, and works out the best way of combining the two. A generous assessment reckons that could take them to fifth - but quite how they get anywhere near the top four is a mystery. The players they need, that other teams have, are beyond their scope, so are relying on outstanding purchases, astounding alchemy, and youthful brilliance. Assuming it doesn’t go like that, then what?
Meanwhile, Hull, despite their league position, continue to improve. Mohamed Diame has added a new dimension to their midfield, Abel Hernandez has three goals in eight games, and Bruce has infused the squad with enterprise and spirit, before adding to it Hatem Ben Arfa and Gaston Ramirez!
Both teams are ganting on a result here, and both should step-to accordingly; accordingly, this should be proper.
Kick-off: 4pm
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