Match report
Full time: Hull City 2-2 Everton
Peep peep! That was highly enjoyable Friday-night fare, though the result isn’t much use to either side – especially as they can both make a decent argument that they should have won. Thanks for your company, goodnight!
90+1 min Tom Davies falls over in the Hull area and is angry when the assistant referee gives a goalkick. It looked a dive at first - and he’s been booked - but replays suggested Clucas was holding his shirt. Where’s Mike Dean when you need him?
90+1 min There will be four additional minutes.
90 min What a chance for Calvert-Lewin! Coleman’s superb cross came to him eight yards out, and he planted his header just wide of the near post.
88 min Coleman’s attempted hooked clearance smashes into his own confused coupon and behind for a corner. It comes to nowt.
86 min Now Everton make a change: Funes Mori replaces Mirallas. That means a switch to a back three.
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85 min A Hull substitution: Tom Huddlestone replaces Diomande.
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GOAL! Hull City 2-2 Everton (Barkley 84)
Ross Barkley equalises! Baines beat Snodgrass on the left and coaxed a fine, dipping cross towards the far post. Barkley, unmarked six yards out, planted a good downward header to the left of Marshall and into the net.
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84 min Hull are really struggling to get out of their own half now. This’ll be a long last few minutes for them.
83 min Mirallas is put in the ejector seat by Maguire, 30 yards from goal. Maguire is booked.
82 min That penalty appeal could have gone either way. It definitely hit Snodgrass’s chest, and maybe his left arm as well as that was tight to his side. It’s hard to call it definitively even after a few replays.
81 min Tom Davies’s cross hits the arm of a Hull defender in the box, prompting a huge shout for a penalty from the Everton fans. Jon Moss isn’t interested.
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80 min Coleman gets into the area on the right after a misjudgement from Diomande. His fierce cross is headed behind by Davies, and then Barkley’s corner is headed away by Dawson.
78 min In the Hull dugout, Mike Phelan is reclining in his chair like he’s just had Christmas lunch and is settling in for a James Bond marathon. He’s almost horizontal!
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77 min If there was a Pound for Pound league table, Hull would be challenging for the title. There is so much to admire about them, most notably a spirit that is exemplified by players like Dawson and Davies.
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75 min Barkley goes around the houses, from centre to right, before driving a really dangerous low cross into the six-yard box. Lukaku is poised to do the necessary when Dawson stretches to make a vital clearance. Moments later, Barkley’s fierce shot from 15 yards is beaten away by Marshall. Hull break and Tom Davies is booked for a tug on Snodgrass.
74 min Another Everton change: the disappointing Valencia is replaced by Dominic Calvert-Lewin.
74 min Barkley tries to wriggle away from Maguire, ends up on his backside and complains to the referee. I think Maguire got the ball.
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72 min Hull certainly aren’t sitting on their lead at the moment. In fact Everton have hardly been out of their own half since the goal. Joel punches away Robertson’s dangerous cross, but the ball keeps coming back at Everton.
70 min Snodgrass could play for any team in this league. He is such a lovely footballer.
68 min Everton will be aggrieved at the award of the free-kick for that goal. It was pretty soft.
67 min An Everton substitution: the Guardian’s own Tom Davies replaces Gareth Barry.
GOAL! Hull City 2-1 Everton (Snodgrass 65)
... and this time he scores! It was another booming, dipping strike that Joel could only push into the net as he leapt to his right. He should probably have saved it but it was still a lovely free-kick from a high-class footballer.
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64 min Maguire goes off on another Beckenbauer tribute run before being fouled by Baines, 25 yards out. Well, a foul was given but there wasn’t much in it. Snodgrass is poised for another crack...
62 min Elmohamady is booked for offending the referee Jon Moss’s sensibilities.
61 min Dawson almost gets his second! Snodgrass’s corner was half cleared to Elmohamady, who wafted an excellent ball over the top as the Everton defence pushed out. Dawson controlled it superbly beyond the far post before rattling a low shot that was pushed away by Joel.
59 min Jagielka is booked for a rib-ticklingly inept hack at Mbokani. That came straight out of 1984.
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56 min A Hull substitution: Sam Clucas replaces David Meyler.
55 min Hull get a free-kick 25 yards from goal, just to the right of centre. That makes it perfect for the left foot of Snodgrass - and he curls a beautiful shot off the crossbar! Joel was nowhere near it.
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53 min Coleman’s long ball is headed on by Lukaku to put Barkley away just inside the box. As Davies comes across he tries a first-time sidefoot that is too close to Marshall, who claims it at the second attempt.
52 min Barkley plays a sharp pass out to Mirallas, who comes infield from the left and hits a low shot that is too close to Marshall and comfortably held.
50 min This has been an ominous start to the second half for Hull. Everton have been excellent and Lukaku is starting to really threaten.
49 min That really was a brilliant save. Lukaku’s shot from just inside the area took a sharp deflection off Dawson and was arrowing towards the top corner before Marshall leapt to his left to tip it onto the bar.
48 min Marshall makes a great save, tipping Lukaku’s deflected shot onto the bar!
46 min Hull begin the second half. They are kicking from left to right, if you’re into the whole mind’s eye thing.
“Kirk Shepherd,” considers Simon McMahon. “Dundee United? Or maybe I’m thinking of Kirk Stevens. There’s got to be some good MBM mileage in discussing every team’s darts and snooker player equivalent, but those six bottles of gin I’ve got in the kitchen aren’t going to drink themselves.”
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Half time: Hull City 1-1 Everton
That’s a bad blow for Hull, who played admirably in the first half and were leading until David Marshall contrived to Lukic a corner into his own net. See you in 10 minutes for the second half.
GOAL! Hull 1-1 Everton (Marshall own goal 45)
This is an Andrex-soft goal for Hull to concede. Marshall comes for an inswinging corner, mistimes his punch and slices it into his own net.
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45+1 min Baines plays a superb sliderule pass into the area for Lukaku, whose first-time shot on the turn is blocked by the sliding Davies at the expense of a corner. From which...
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43 min “Top six = PDC,” says Simon McMahon. “Also rans = BDO. Leicester = Keith Deller.”
So who’s Kirk Shepherd?
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41 min Valencia bursts into the box and slides a beautiful low cross that goes between goalkeeper and defenders and out for a goalkick. No Everton player was near the six-yard box, never mind in it.
39 min Diomande catches Mirallas in the face with his arm as they jockey for position at a throw-in. It’s hard to say whether it was intentional; the referee thought not and took no action.
36 min Robertson’s cross goes behind for a corner off Gueye. Snodgrass’s outswinger is cleared at the near post.
35 min Barkley has been neat and tidy in possession but no more than that. Lukaku has struggled to get into the game. Saying which, Lukaku’s 20-yard shot pinballs around the box before Mirallas hooks an awkward dropping ball straight at Marshall from a tight angle.
33 min “Lots of talk about the oceans of cash sloshing on the shores of the Premier League leading to an evening out of standards (yep, Leicester City etc etc etc), but the gap between the top six and the Also Rans is enormous,” says Gary Naylor. “The quality of football also appears to have levelled down, because this Everton side could be 17th as easily as 7th. (You’re right BTW - I’d also rather be watching the darts). We’re not far off the top 14 XIs in the Premier League comprising the top seven and their reserve teams.”
Yeah, I agree. This has been getting worse for the last 15 years, which makes Leicester even more miraculous. That will never make sense, thank goodness.
31 min Lovely play from Hull. Maguire swaggers forward like Morten Olsen before playing the ball out to Snodgrass on the left. His dipping cross is met by the sliding Diomande, whose half-volley hits the back of Jagielka and flies wide.
28 min Barry collects a loose ball, runs to within 25 yards of goal and strikes a fantastic rising shot that whistles this far wide of the far post with Marshall motionless.
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23 min Snodgrass’s superb deep cross from the right finds Mbokani, who towers above Coleman but ends up shouldering the ball back across the face of goal. Everton break and Barkley drags a low shot not far wide from 16 yards.
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21 min Hull have calmed things down a bit in the last few minutes, even crossing the halfway line on a couple of occasions.
16 min Mirallas has dragged Everton kicking and screaming into this match after an abysmal start, and now they are probing incessantly. Hull are sitting too deep.
14 min Barry’s flat cross from the left is headed onto the post by Coleman! That was a really good header from Coleman, who was only just inside the box when he made contact. It beat Marshall and bounced up to hit the inside of the post.
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12 min Mirallas springs into action, cutting inside from the left to hit a low shot that deflects off Dawson and is fumbled behind for a corner by Marshall.
11 min Human nature being what it is, Everton have had more of the ball since going behind. Gueye tries to lob Marshall from the halfway line, and puts it 20 yards wide.
8 min Everton’s start has put the ‘pathetic’in ‘apathetic’. They look like they’d rather be watching the darts!
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GOAL! Hull 1-0 Everton (Dawson 6)
Hull are rewarded for their flying start. Snodgrass’s outswinging corner from the left is flicked across goal by the head of Davies at the near post. It bounces up awkwardly beyond the far post, where Dawson shows superb technique to contort his body and smash the ball low past Joel.
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6 min I thought Everton would dominate possession, but so far Hull have played like, erm, the home side. Elmohamady vrooms into the box on the right and hits a dangerous cross that Jagielka, stretching towards his own goal, has to shin high over the bar for a corner.
4 min Robert Snodgrass’s left foot will be one of the main features when Hull becomes the UK City of Culture for 2017, and he has been influential in a good start from Hull. He runs at Baines on the right edge of the box, comes inside and whips a big curling not far wide of the far top corner.
2 min Robertson’s floated cross is headed clear to Livermore, whose fizzing 20-yard shot is blocked by a defender.
2 min “Hey Rob,” says JR in Illinois. “I’ll have one eye on this game and the other on the darts. I started following darts while in Ireland at this time of year in 2003. One of my most memorable nights was wandering from pub to pub in Athlone and watching that insane final between Taylor and Painter. Mercy, that was fantastic.”
Talking of Athlone, this is the greatest kick off ever.
1 min Peep peep! Ross Barkley, recalled to the side, kicks off for Everton. They are in blue; Hull are looking waspish in amber and black.
An email!
“Evening Rob,” says Simon McMahon. “You on the naughty step again? I mean, Hull v Everton could turn into a classic, but we both know you’d rather be watching the darts. This afternoons QF’s were sensational. Chisnall hit about 100 maximums and still lost to Anderson. The standard is just mind blowing. And the atmosphere looks and sounds electric.”
Yes, careless planning on my part. PLEASE, dear reader/s, don’t plotspoil as I plan to watch it on delay later. The standard is preposterous and is likely to get even better in the semis and final. The ceaseless excellence under pressure is mind-boggling.
A late Christmas present for the Everton fan in your life
Team news
Hull City (3-4-2-1) Marshall; Maguire, Dawson, Davies; Elmohamady, Livermore, Meyler, Robertson; Snodgrass, Diomande; Mbokani.
Substitutes: Jakupovic, Huddlestone, Clucas, Maloney, Weir, Henriksen, Mason.
Everton (4-2-3-1) Joel; Coleman, Jagielka, Williams, Baines; Gueye, Barry; Valencia, Barkley, Mirallas; Lukaku.
Substitutes: Hewelt, Funes Mori, Holgate, Cleverley, Davies, Lennon, Calvert-Lewin.
Referee Jon Moss.
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Preamble
Hello and welcome to our live blog of Hull v Everton – or, if you prefer, Performances v Results. Hull have been playing pretty, pretty well without much reward; Everton are top of the Premier League Also Rans table, yet their fans are not especially enamoured with the football they have played under Ronald Koeman.
Though Hull are bottom of both the Premier League and the Premier League Also Rans tables, they have not been cut adrift yet. They are a manageable four points off Crystal Palace in 17th, especially as they have some decent fixtures in the next month, including Swansea and Bournemouth at home. If they are going to survive, it’s probably time to start swapping good performances for good results.
Kick off is at 8pm.
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