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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Lizzie Cernik

How we met after 60: ‘I was so excited I fell off my fitball’

Gerry Ellen and Greg in Los Osos.
‘I felt as if I could be goofy around her’ … Gerry Ellen and Greg in Los Osos. Photograph: Supplied image

Gerry Ellen moved to the village of Cambria, California, in 2020, looking for a change of pace. After many years working as a writer in San Diego, she was ready for a quieter life. One day that September, she went out to buy petrol and stopped at Cayucos, a popular dog-walking spot on the coast. “My little dog and I used to go everywhere together,” she says.

While there, she spotted a hand-written sign telling people to remove their rubbish from the beach. “I started reading it out loud and noticed a man behind me was doing the same thing. I turned around and thought: ‘I really need to meet this person.’”

Greg, a retired Harbor Patrol officer who lived nearby in Los Osos, had come to the beach for a quick swim before lunch. “I noticed Gerry Ellen was beautiful, but I was coming to the end of a relationship, so I wasn’t looking for anything,” he says. Because she seemed so friendly, he walked down to the beach with her.

“I told him my life story in 15 minutes, while we were barefoot in the sand,” she says. “We really got on well, but then he decided to turn back because he was hungry and wanted to get lunch. He told me he would put a note with his contact details on my windshield.” When she went back to the car, there was no note and she wondered if it had blown off. “I didn’t know if I’d ever see him again, but when I told one of my neighbours about our meeting, she said my face was lit up like a Christmas tree.” Although Gerry Ellen returned to the same spot on the beach a few times, she didn’t see him there again.

At the time, Greg was preoccupied by the breakdown of his relationship. “It ended in an amicable way, not long after that day on the beach,” he says. “A few weeks later, I found Gerry Ellen’s email address online. I remembered her surname and the fact that she was a writer, which meant she was easy to find.”

Gerry Ellen was working at her desk when she got the email. “I was sitting on my fitball and was so excited I fell off,” she laughs. “He was very honest and told me about his previous relationship and that he hadn’t wanted to start anything until it was over. At the end of the email he said: ‘Consider this the note on your car.’”

In mid-December, they met for lunch in Cambria. But after two divorces, Gerry Ellen admits she was nervous and wanted to be sure about Greg early on. “My friend advised me that if I really wanted to get to know him, I should write down questions to ask,” she says. “I asked him things like: ‘How do you handle anger?’ and ‘What would your perfect day be?’ Luckily, he gave great answers.’”

Greg thought the questionnaire was “really cute”. “One of the biggest things I realised right away was that she got my humour. I felt as if I could be goofy around her,” he says.

Their relationship moved quickly, but Greg wasn’t sure he was ready. “After a month, I suggested we have some time out because I had only just come out of a relationship,” he says. “She was really understanding and, after a couple of weeks, I realised how much I missed her and wanted to be with her.”

From that moment on they became a couple and enjoyed spending their time together, having outdoor adventures. “We often go on hikes or take trips over to Joshua Tree national park,” says Gerry Ellen. They moved in together in Los Osos in 2022 and recently adopted a puppy.

Greg says his partner is a great listener and always wants the best for others. “She’s so carefree. She never looks more than a few steps ahead and, while it can be frustrating at times, I love her free spirit. She’s like a butterfly cruising around.”

For Gerry Ellen, Greg is the “salt of the earth” and determined. “He never wavers from his convictions, which I really admire, and he’s always so kind, generous and funny. He makes me laugh all the time and he’s full of love.”

Callout

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