Becoming a member at a golf club is one of the greatest sporting decisions I have ever made, as playing regularly, competing against others and practicing on the excellent facilities has really improved my game.
Like anything in life, however, it only takes a couple of bad experiences to taint that positive outlook.
Unfortunately, two such encounters happened in the same day recently and it left me reluctantly thinking that playing on my own could be the way forward.
While in isolation these incidents might not have bothered me too much, I have been growing increasingly concerned about a lack of respect from some members damaging golf club culture.
Rather than treating each other with an open and welcoming attitude, there seems to be a sceptical, cliquey side to a minority of the membership which is putting me a little on edge.
Sadly, for a game that's fundamentally built on trust and mutual respect, there wasn't much of that flying around on the course when I last visited...
Two Recent Incidents Left Me Concerned About Golf Club Culture
One of my favourite parts of playing golf at a member's club is the opportunity to tee it up with new people and build relationships.
I have had so many positive interactions with new playing partners that have gone on to become friends in recent years, but I still don't think we do enough mixing on the course.
The tee time booking sheet can feel a little bit cliquey, especially if you don't have a regular person to play with, so jumping onto spare slots and joining others is a necessary but often daunting proposition.
To make matters worse, being shunned is a real and probable possibility. I recently joined on with a group of players in the hope of squeezing in 18 holes and entering a competition.
Sadly, within minutes of my booking, the group had decided to remove themselves and re-book on another slot that day. This was a direct and calculated decision - no, you are not playing with us, stranger!
I couldn't even imagine so boldly indicating to someone that they are not wanted. The way I see it, I don't own that tee time. It's not 'mine'. If there is space and someone wants to join - be my guest, more the merrier.
On a busy day where it can be difficult to get out on the course, this behaviour is particularly problematic.
If you want to play a casual midweek round with your mates without another player joining you then I can understand (even if I don't necessarily agree). If, however, it's a competition day and you have an open space... get over yourself and get on with it.
If I had my way, I would have at least one competition day per weekend where groupings are drawn, not chosen, allowing for opportunities to meet others and preventing cliquey factions of the community from monopolising tee times.
Benefit Of The Doubt
The second thing that got me on this particular day was a disagreement with a fellow member on the course.
At a member's club, all players pay their exponentially rising membership fees so should be considered equal, but I am not sure everyone sees it that way.
I am someone who is pretty easy going, but I believe in being respectful to each other and abiding by the etiquette and laws of the game.
If I make a pitch mark, I'll repair it. If I leave a divot, I'll replace it. And if I hit a tee shot off line, I will shout 'fore' as loudly as I possibly can.
The latter occurred in my most recent round. It was a terrible shot, in fairness, but I had the flight and the line in my sights and could see it was heading for the trees.
I made my usual shout of fore and wandered down eagerly to search for my ball, ready to apologise to any groups in the general area.
When I arrived, I saw that it was on the correct side of the trees (perhaps aided by a good member's bounce) and it looked playable. What a result.
To my confusion, I then saw an unhappy member on the opposite fairway, but he was nowhere near my ball. He looked in my direction and lambasted me for 'not shouting', to which I responded, 'I did shout'.
His response was that he 'didn't hear me', which may well have been the case, but I can only shout as loudly as I am able to and I can't control whether the recipient hears my call.
If the member had given me a second to realise they were potentially close enough to my ball to be in any danger, I would immediately have apologised out of courtesy, just in case it went anywhere near them.
However, the hostility of the first interaction threw me. There wasn't a question or a conversation being had, it was an accusation. This didn't feel particularly aligned with the spirit of the game, at least to me anyway.
Despite some back and forth, the other member would not let the matter drop... and despite usually being pretty drama-averse, I was not prepared to back down on this one.
It's simply a matter of respect, something that should be ingrained in the culture of any golf club, but sadly the hostility and instant scepticism over my etiquette destroyed an opportunity for this to end amicably.
We play a game where golf balls are travelling at speed through the air, hit by players of differing abilities in an environment that can be quite challenging. That's why the word 'fore' exists, as a warning. I know this, I'm not stupid.
I warned the group on the opposite fairway with a loud shout, not even knowing if anyone was there, but the benefit of the doubt was not offered on this occasion.
You wouldn't move around in other walks of life calling people out for things without knowing any context, facts or otherwise... so why on earth would you think that's appropriate on the golf course? It's not, so do better.
