Parents across the UK are likely being asked difficult questions by their children about Russia's invasion of Ukraine.
When big world events such as this occur, kids are also exposed to the frightening events unfolding across Europe, and will no doubt have questions and seek reassurance from their families.
BritstolLive reporter, Jacqui Merrington, said that her children have been returning home from school 'talking in whispered tones about war', despite a conscious effort from Jacqui and her husband not to talk about the invasion around them at home.
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She confessed that within 24 hours of the Russian invasion, her children "knew far more than I ever wanted them to hear in spite of my attempts to shield them" and that her six-year-old told her that she'd heard in Ukraine "they’ve dropped bombs on people from the sky."
With many children approaching their parents with similar worries or questions, experts have weighed in on how to approach the heartbreaking subject of war with a children.
Should you bring up the war with a child?
“What is happening in Ukraine can be frightening for both children and adults. Ignoring or avoiding the topic can lead to children feeling lost, alone and more scared, which can affect their health and well-being. It is essential to have open and honest conversations with children to help them process what is happening,” said Ane Lemche, a psychologist and child counsellor with Save the Children.
Dr Deborah Gilboa, family physician and parenting expert, says it depends on the age of a child, the likelihood they may hear it from another source and a family’s relationship with the conflict.
As a general rule, she recommends not broaching the subject with children under the age of eight. However, she says that if a child is likely to hear about it being discussed at school or elsewhere, then it’s wise to try and ensure the information comes from you as a parent first.
“Because when our kids hear about the things that are big or scary and don’t hear it from their parents first, the message they take away is ‘I shouldn’t talk to my parents about this,’” Dr Gilboa told The Independent. “If for any reason you think your child is going to hear about this, then get to them and talk to them.”
Teenagers might have access to social media such as Facebook and TikTok where they may be exposed to distressing images, videos and information of the invasion.
Giving children the opportunity to talk about their fears
CBBC Newsround, which is specifically aimed at a young audience of The programme is aimed at 6 to 17-year-olds, has also released tips directly to children on what they can do if they feel upset or distressed about the things they have seen, heard or read.
"It's important to remember that being sad, worried or angry about awful things that happen in the world around you is okay and perfectly normal," Newsround tells it's young audience. "You won't be the only one who feels that way. Adults get sad and confused too, so there is nothing wrong with feeling like this."
Some children might not feel comfortable asking questions or talking about their worries, therefore parents need to look for indicators that they are feeling anxious.
These could be displaying anxious habits like biting fingernails or sucking their thumb. They may be struggling to sleep or you may notice a change in appetite.
They could be clingy or suffer from stomach aches.
If you see signs of anxiety in your child, “letting them know you are there to talk, often without even having a big talk, can go a long way,” Dr Hina Talib, an adolescent medicine specialist at the Atria Institute and pediatrician at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, told the New York Times .
Experts at Save The Child say parents should try to find out what their children already know about the war situation, and how they found out about it.
Encourage children to do things which make them happy
Newsround encouraged children to do things which makes them happy when they are feeling frightened or overwhelmed. Parents could help children do this by suggesting they watch their favourite film, take a dog for a walk or read part of their favourite book.
"Try to balance the news you read. If you read a sad story, then try and read a happy one before you go to bed," Newsround said. "If being worried is making it more difficult to sleep or if you are having nightmares, it's really important to speak to an adult about this too.
Parents can also help their child sleep better by surrounding them with comforting things before bed, such as a happy photos, which will be the last thing they say before going to sleep.
Children can also use comforters like old teddy bears to make them feel more secure at night.
Remember, it's rare
Remember to tell your children that terrible things they may see on the news are widely publicised because they don't happen very often. It's also important to tell them that although people are spending a lot of time talking about it, it is still very unlikely that events like this will affect you or your family.
"The most important thing is that if you are feeling upset, don't keep what's troubling you about the news to yourself," Newsroom tells it's young readers. "Talk to an adult about the issue in the news that is worrying you. That can help you to understand what is upsetting you, and help those feelings of sadness, anger or confusion to go away."
Save The Children experts say that it’s important to stay calm when you approach the conversation of war and conflict with children, as they will often copy the sentiments of their caregivers—if you are uneasy about the situation, chances are your child will be uneasy as well.
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