As the new school year approaches, concerning new research reveals that a significant number of young people experiencing bullying choose to suffer in silence, rarely confiding in an adult.
A study by the Economic and Social Research Institute, in collaboration with the Department of Children, Disability and Equality, analysed data from the ‘Growing Up in Ireland’ study.
The findings, which focus on children aged nine and 13, both within and outside school, highlight a worrying trend.
Only 40 per cent of 13-year-olds who encountered bullying-type behaviour reported it to an adult.
Furthermore, when presented with a list of common bullying experiences – such as physical aggression, name-calling, or social exclusion – a substantial 62 per cent of 13-year-olds had experienced at least one of these on one or more occasions in the preceding three months.
Alarmingly, 37 per cent reported repeated instances of such behaviour.
Helen Westerman, head of local campaigns at the NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children), has offered crucial advice.
She outlined subtle indicators that might suggest a child is being bullied, alongside practical guidance for parents on how to provide support.
A change in temperament
A drastic shift in mood may indicate something isn’t right.
“Your child may become quieter and withdrawn, pulling away from family activities or conversations they used to enjoy,” says Ms Westerman.
“Alternatively, they might display the opposite behaviour, such as acting out of character by becoming more aggressive, defiant, or ‘playing up’ at home.
“These dramatic shifts in personality often signal that something is troubling them at school or online.”
Showing a reluctance to go to school
While back-to-school blues are fairly normal, if they don’t settle in within a week or two there could be an underlying issue, explains Ms Westerman.
“If your child consistently shows reluctance to go to school each morning, complains of feeling unwell on school days, or experiences ‘Sunday night blues’ with anxiety about the upcoming school week, this could indicate they’re fearful of seeing their bullies,” says Ms Westerman.
Physical injuries
“Unexplained cuts, bruises, scratches, or torn clothing that your child can’t explain may be signs of physical bullying,” says Ms Westerman.
“Pay particular attention if these injuries appear regularly or if your child seems evasive when asked about how they occurred.”
Being upset after using technology
“Pay attention to your child’s mood immediately after they’ve been using their phone, laptop, or games console,” recommends Ms Westerman.
“If they regularly appear quieter, teary, angry, or distressed after being online, this could suggest they’re experiencing cyberbullying through social media, messaging apps, or online gaming platforms.”
Belongings going missing
“If your child frequently ‘loses’ valuable items or if their belongings keep getting damaged or destroyed, this could indicate that other children are taking or damaging their possessions as part of bullying,” notes Ms Westerman.
Unexplained physical symptoms
“Children experiencing bullying can develop stress-related symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, or feeling generally unwell,” explains Ms Westerman.
“While these symptoms may be genuine responses to stress, they can also be used as a strategy to avoid going to school or participating in activities where bullying occurs.”
If you suspect your child is being bullied, here are some ways to help…
Find a quiet time to talk to them
Try to speak to them in a quiet environment where they feel safe and supported.
“If you suspect your child is being bullied, find a quiet time to talk to them when it’s just you and them,” advises Ms Westerman.
“You might start by saying that you’ve noticed a change in their behaviour or that they’re quieter than normal and you are worried about them.”
Stay calm
“If your child discloses that they are experiencing bullying, stay calm and allow them to talk at their own pace,” recommends Ms Westerman.
“Children, especially those who are older, can feel disempowered by bullying so it’s important that you work together to make decisions about next steps.”
Consider talking to the school
“Once your child feels comfortable and ready, consider approaching their school together to discuss what additional support can be put in place,” suggests Ms Westerman.
“Schools have anti-bullying policies and trained staff who can help address the situation, while ensuring your child feels safe and supported.
“Working collaboratively with the school often provides the most effective approach to stopping bullying and preventing it from happening to other children.”
Signpost them to Childline
“If your child doesn’t feel comfortable or ready to let you know that they’re being bullied, remind them that you will always be there for when they want to talk,” says Ms Westerman.
“You can also signpost them to Childline if they want to speak to someone anonymously. Any child can contact Childline on 0800 1111.”
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