Name: Lasagne of Evil.
Age: Lately baked.
Appearance: Like a lasagne, but evil.
What, has it got pineapple in it or something? No, it contains only evil.
I’m not eating that. You must.
No, I mustn’t. We made this lasagne of evil, and now we have to eat it, according to Peter Kazimir.
I don’t know what edition of MasterChef he got booted off, but his culinary misfortunes are not my problem. Kazimir is not a cook. He’s Slovakia’s finance minister.
In that case, remind me never to accept a dinner invitation from him. You misunderstand – this particular lasagne is not a baked, layered pasta dish containing parmesan, bechamel sauce and, in less orthodox quarters, tomatoes. The lasagne of evil is more of a metaphor.
A metaphor for what? The populism currently sweeping Europe: the rise of far-right parties, Britain’s Brexit vote, that sort of thing.
That makes not one slice of sense. In Kazimir’s model, the layers of the lasagne each represent different institutions that have failed to curb this unrest – politics, corporations, the media, the church.
So, the evil – that’s like the bechamel in between the layers? It’s not clear which ingredient represents the evil.
And the dish – what does the dish stand for? Mr Kazimir did not mention the dish.
Wait, I think I’ve got it – is the evil the hidden salt and sugar lying in wait inside a toxic ready-meal of intolerance? You’re certainly entitled to your interpretation.
Are you sure that this grousing about Europe from a Slovakian politician isn’t just so much metaphorical hard cheese? Slovakia isn’t exactly choking on the Lasagne of Evil. Its economy is expected to grow by 3.3% this year, and unemployment has halved over the past four. If anything, its manufacturing sector stands to benefit from Britain’s departure from the EU.
Kazimir must have been making some kind of point, though. What was it? I think he’s saying that our failure to address the issue of populism means the EU now has to digest some very unpleasant truths. But don’t quote me.
Do say: “Be sure to eat the whole thing, because sometimes all the evil sinks to the bottom.”
Don’t say: “Would you like a side salad of despair with that?”
