When I was a kid, the last local gardener lived next door. Mr Doo grew all he needed on his suburban block: fruit, veg, ponds for rice and water chestnuts, sugar cane, tobacco, with lavish gifts of veg over the fence - and didn't pay a cent for any of it. His garden always felt six times as large as ours, though it was the same size every time I measured it.
Feeling the pinch? Want luscious meals and armfuls of flowers for free? Do like Mr Doo. (Except for the tobacco growing, which is now illegal.)
1. Save seeds. One gone-to-seed lettuce or carrot will give you hundreds of seeds.
Stake parsley, silverbeet, carrots, et al as they go to seed in spring so the giant flower heads don't fall down when wet. Keep the seeds of this week's pumpkin, chilli, grapes, melons. Plant the tops of carrots or the bases of celery or leeks so they sprout and seed.
If there's a monster zucchini still lurking in the garden, it should have hard ripe seeds for this summer's crop inside it. Inspect the ferns or tree ferns to see if their tiny seeds are hiding under the leaves. Keep the dry seed in labelled old envelopes or wrapped in paper till needed.
Hybrid plants won't come true to type, but should still be good. Dahlias, belladonna, camellias, roses, daffodils - almost all flowers and bulbs grow from seed. Even if they're not just like their parents, they'll be both fascinating and beautiful.
If you don't have seeds to save...
2. ... Join a garden club. Gardening enthusiasts will eagerly swamp you with more seeds than you can grow, as well as...
3. Cuttings. Every rose, salvia, daisy, wormwood or thyme pruning can turn into a new plant. Head to the library for how to grow almost anything from grapes to grevilleas from cuttings, or divide clumps of agapanthus, irises, dahlias. Many will bloom within their first season. I've just "borrowed" a bucket of rich red hydrangea cuttings from a friend. We'll have blooms by autumn.
4. Never pay for fertiliser again. Save all fruit, vegie and garden scraps; gather as many autumn leaves and lawn clippings as you can get your hands on; pile them up, and toss them around once a week - aerating will mean they break down sooner into the richest plant food possible. Mix well so clippings or leaves don't clog together. Don't add anything rats or fruit fly may like - let chooks take those off your hands and out of your fridge.
5. Consider judicious investment. A packet of lettuce seeds of the "pick leaves as you want them for 12 months" variety may save you at least $500 a year if you eat lettuce every day. Add a packet of silverbeet - a year of soups, salads, green smoothies, spinach quiche and triangles - and you can save at least another $500. A family can easily eat $500 worth of cherry tomatoes - freeze the surplus. I bung parsley in everything, from pizza to pureed in blueberry ice-cream (Shh... that's a secret). Add another $500 saved in a year of healthy greens. Swap surplus basil, fresh crisp snow peas, rhubarb and flower posies with your local café.
6. Plant fruit seeds in spring after they've chilled all winter - apples, oranges, lemons, grapes, plums, peaches - your choice. Wait four to six years. Eat smugly and delectably ... and save more money.
7. Almost free pest control? Mix 1 cup of flour with 1 cup of boiling water. Add enough cold water to be sprayable. Strain. Spray. Gummed pests aren't going anywhere, except possibly down bird beaks. Water the plants clean after 48 hours as they'll look disgusting.
8. Consider today's weeds as next month's compost - and excellent exercise.
9. Sell the lawn mower. Grow spuds, corn and mini melons instead of grass. If you've made enough compost from friends' "borrowed" lawn clippings or green waste, cover the lawn with newspaper and compost: you don't even have to dig.
10. Give up the gym membership. Gardening gives you a total workout, a relaxed mediative sexiness, as well as free lettuce.
Savings? Immense. Enjoyment of truly fresh apricots and gratitude as you share them? Immeasurable.
This week I am:
- Filling vases with fragrant Paper White and Erlicheer jonquils, the first yellow daffodils, and fat camelias.
- Trying to remember to water the asparagus for lush spears late next month.
- Planting perennial spring onions that form thick white stems and green tops instead of bulbs. Their clumps get bigger every year. I use more of them than 'real' onions: the same flavour and less eye watering.
- Digging up Jerusalem artichokes to rub with olive oil then bake till crisp. No matter how many I harvest, some will be left to grow this summer.
- Waiting for the 'winter rose' hellebores to bloom as new leaves poke from the soil, and wondering what colour their seedlings will be this year. Red, yellow, pink, slate grey, striped or spotted? Will they be single or double?
- Watching kids pick frost-sweet oranges; play catch with oranges; work out six ways to peel oranges; and then eventually eat them.
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