Seriously, who's even got the time anymore, am I right? Between motoring the spawn schoolward and picking up the laundry from the rock lady down by the stream. Then there are the insufferable chores: milking the chickens, feathering the ducks. And the texts! "Hellooooo, are you there? Why aren't you texting me back?"
Look, if you want my attention that badly, why don't you leave your calling card with my chimp butler like a normal person?
And yet, still, we must eat. And I don't know about you, but more and more, I'm trusting less and less the boxed and bottled "food" products so popular with the kids today. Sure, it's easy as eels just to uncork a cruet of Krapco� Instant Brain Stew, but wouldn't an honest-to-Pete home-cooked meal hit the spot?
Well, tell you what: If you can manage to boil some noodles, I'll show you how to make a red sauce in two-and-a-half jiffies that will leave you smacking your lips like a zombie in a surgical theater.
