Many people were hoping things would be different this year, but there’s no denying it - Christmas could still be cancelled.
Regardless of what happens with official Covid restrictions, if you need to isolate, plans to get together with loved ones might well be scuppered. Also, some families might decide to skip the gatherings as a preventative measure, to keep more vulnerable and elder relatives safe.
But there are some things that can be done to make it a bit more bearable if Covid regulations become stricter.
Let yourself feel it
If you’re disappointed about cancelling Christmas plans, you’re allowed to feel it. Forcing ourselves to never express a ‘negative’ emotion – because someone always has it worse, for example – is usually not helpful.
Liz Ritchie, an integrative psychotherapist from St Andrew’s Healthcare, said: “Christmas is a time when you can feel under an awful lot of pressure, including to conform in terms of being happy and joyous and embracing the season and the rest of it.
"Now is a time more than ever that we have to give ourselves permission to be really kind to ourselves."
Some might even “breathe a sigh of relief” at gatherings being cancelled. Letting ourselves feel things and react is healthy and may actually help us come to terms with things.
Let the guilt go
There’s also the anxiety and guilt of letting others down – especially if you have relatives who had their hearts set on all being together.
Liz Ritchie says it helps to remind ourselves that “everybody has to restrict in some way”. It’s really important to prioritise what is best for us.
She added: “That’s the obligation element of Christmas, the expectation that we should just be appreciative of seeing people and making a real effort – and of course we can’t really do that this year.
“So don’t feel bad if you have to cancel plans and adjust.”
You can still make it nice
Rip up the rules and eat whatever meal you fancy on December 25, and don't feel pressured to do anything that may worsen feelings.
Liz Ritchie added: “Whether we realise it or not, the last couple of years is testament to the fact that we are resilient and we can adapt.
“We’ve surprised ourselves really, the coping mechanisms we have are very effective, and often we don’t even realise we are doing it.”
What else is going on?
The pandemic dominates so much now, it’s easy to forget it’s not the only thing going on.
The expert continued: “Christmas is already difficult for many, for other reasons. There will be people who’ve lost family members and this will really shine a light on those losses, people who have become estranged during the pandemic, people who still have health problems."
"This can be a time where people might be reminded of those experiences. We talk about having empathy for others, but we also need to have empathy for ourselves, so we can feel more comfortable about the decisions we make.
“So be mindful of setting boundaries and really listen to yourself.”
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